Easter 2013 Recap … before Easter?

This is the obligatory Happy Easter post. The Easter bunny actually visited our place a week early, as we had originally had plans to be away over Easter, I wanted Evalyn to have the chance to do the egg hunt at home. Poor girl kept asking if we would go egg hunting out in the grass. Hate to break it to you girl, but an Easter egg hunt wearing a snowsuit just isn’t the same.

So last Sunday when my Mom came for a visit, she took the kids downstairs to play and while they were gone, Mr Easter Bunny made his appearance. When I went downstairs to tell Eva, of course she flipped and didn’t want to come upstairs because she didn’t want to see the Bunny. I don’t blame you kid, that Dude be creepy. I reassured her he was LONG GONE and just left treats behind. That seemed to solve the issue and she came right upstairs.

Of course, this is the first year that she’s really been into the whole Easter egg hunt thing, and it was adorable. Every time she found an egg, she would say “Oh silly Easter Bunny, this don’t beyong here! Des eggs don’t beyong with my movies. Dees eggs beyond in my basket!” She thought it as absolutely hilarious that he would put eggs in the places that he put them.

Here she is on the hunt….

 

The Egg Hunt concluded on the couch where Mr Bunny had left their Easter buckets. And hello, pointless. All week all she has played with is the $2 straw basket and the empty plastic eggs. She could have cared less about the gifts!

And don’t worry … just because she’s yittle doesn’t mean Gwennie had to miss out on the fun.

Because we did our Easter thing last weekend and ended up canceling our plans for this weekend, we’ll just be having a quiet weekend together as a family.

Today is Friday but praise be to God that Sunday is coming. The stone will roll away and by the grace of an almightily God, these beautiful babies of mine have the most amazing promise of redemption!

 

Happy Easter!

what’s it worth?

It’s Sunday night. 8:08 pm. The girls are in bed, though I still hear some faint jabbering coming from my biggest little. My husband just pulled out of the driveway to go play hockey. I’m sitting in my bed. Letting out a deep breath.

Sundays are hard on me. They are tough. So tough.

Today, the day started at 5:55 am when I was woken by the sound of the baby screeching from her crib. The screech that indicates she’s definitely not ready to be awake. After thirty or so minutes of trying (pointlessly) to convince her to shut her eyes for just a little while longer, we were up and at ‘em. The husband left to go do some scouting for a little while in the morning while I busied myself with getting breakfast fed, dresses on, ponytails done, dishes unloaded and myself showered and dressed and make upped.

By 8:00am, the baby was having her usual Sunday morning meltdown that was amplified by the early morning wake up which meant as soon as the husband walked in the door we kicked it into over drive. We raced to throw snacks and magna doodles and teething toys and milk and everything else you can imagine into the diaper bag. We pottied. We got coats and hats and boots on. We buckled kids in their seats. And we left for church over an hour early in hopes of getting a decent car nap on the way.

By the time I did up my seatbelt as we pulled out of the driveway, I already felt like I had run a marathon. We grabbed a coffee and drove aimlessly around our rural area while the baby slept for no more than 15 minutes and arrived at church thirty minutes early.

Church with kids is difficult. Today was particularly trying. After the baby’s early morning and very short nap, she was beside herself. Add into that some tummy troubles she’s been having and she was a hot mess. I fed her and made my first attempt at getting her back to sleep before service even started. No luck.

Service started and within 10 minutes I was standing at the back, tying her into the mei tei and hoping for a quick and easy nap. Again, no luck. After fighting and fighting with her and taking communion in the hallway, I gave up and headed back in. Evan kept her pacified with crackers for a few minutes but not long and she was fussing again. This time, Aunt Linda, who always has the touch, took her to the back classroom in hopes of getting her to go down.

In the meantime, the toddler, who is, all things considered, very well behaved in church, was bouncing between Daddy’s lap, Mommy’s lap, Auntie Marcia’s lap, Miss Becky’s lap, Mrs.. Smith’s iPhone photos, this book, that book, this sticker, that sticker, goldfish, fruit leather, drink of milk, magnet toy and on and on it goes.

After Auntie Linda hadn’t returned for quite some time, I popped back out to see how things were going. As soon as I made my way into the hall, I heard that noise. You know the one? The kind of crying coming from a baby who is acting as though someone is torturing her. Nap attempt #3 failed. By this time, she was getting harder and harder to soothe. Harder and harder to keep occupied. Eventually, Evan took her out for the remainder of the time.

Today’s service was the kind of service where I can’t remember a single song that was sung. I know the speaker mentioned Dietrich Bonheoffer and something about Daniel in the Lions Den … but that’s about as far as that goes.

Of course, Gwen was asleep in her car seat before we even pulled out of the parking lot for our fifteen minute drive home. And was awake as soon as we got in the house. By 2pm, I finally convinced her to go back to sleep … which lasted twenty minutes. The rest of the day was spent trying to keep a severely overtired baby happy while also attempting to finish laundry, get groceries, vacuum and tidy up … all in preparation for another busy week.

More than one time today, I caught myself thinking, “What’s it worth? What’s the point?” … why even bother going to church if I am not able to listen to a single word of the sermon, focus my heart on a single word of a single song or have a single meaningful conversation with anyone in my church family? What’s it worth? What is the point? Why was I even there?

Yet through these negative thoughts … God broke my heart.

What’s it worth? What’s the point?

What it’s worth is teaching my children that our faith in God is our first priority. It is not second to nap schedules, or convenience or exhaustion. It comes before all things. The point is showing my children that we value our commitment to God above anything else. Even when it’s difficult. Or stressful. Or, even at times, unenjoyable. The point is demonstrating to them that we believe it to be important to join with other believers in worship, even at times when personal edification may be difficult to achieve. What it’s worth is giving our children a congregation to call home. What it’s worth is giving them the opportunity to learn about Christ alongside other children. To sing songs, read scriptures and pray in their bible classes. What it’s worth is seeing my daughter learn about the importance of giving, when she asks for moneys to give to Jesus on the way to church on Sunday morning. What it’s worth is instilling in her a heart of service as she passes the collection plate with her Daddy to collect coins for children who are living in poverty. What it’s worth is doing our best to sow the seeds of Christ’s love in the hearts of our children.

What it’s worth is recognizing that our children are God’s children and they have been entrusted to us for this time on earth. And because of that immense gift and that tremendous responsibility we will keep ‘doing Sundays’. Even when we don’t want to.

Dedication

Yesterday we had the opportunity to participate in our church’s 2012 Baby Dedication service. It is our belief that our role as parents is a lifelong duty, privilege and calling that is God given. We believe our primary charge and duty as parents is to lead our children toward Christ and set them towards a life in which they will develop a personal and committed relationship with their Saviour. Our greatest hope and prayer is that one day, our girls (and any future children we may have) will accept Jesus as their Lord and Saviour and live their lives alongside Him.

Because of these beliefs and hopes, we both, as individuals and as parents, cherish the opportunity to stand before our church, our family and our friends and dedicate our children, the blessing that they are to us, back to a mighty God who has given them to us and commit ourselves to a lifetime of faithful parenting.

Each year, our church has a Baby Dedication service where each family who has welcomed a new addition in that year has the opportunity to participate. This year, there were fives babies added to our congregation who were prayed over and celebrated last night.

Just as it was the year Evalyn was born, this night was monumental and special to me as a mother – not only as I reflected on and prayed over my own child – but as I had the opportunity to pray for the children who Gwen will grow up with at church as well, including one of our best friend’s little dudes.

One amazing thing about last night is that every living grandparent of the four babies who were at the service was present and they all read blessings of scripture and prayed over their grandchildren throughout the service. What a testament of faith that is to me!

For our portion of the service, we started with my Dad reading a scripture that is so close to my heart and that stuck with me through the last bit of my pregnancy and during Gwen’s birth.

Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him and he will do this: He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun. Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him. - Psalm 37: 5-7a

I read the following letter I had written to Gwen and then excerpts from the book “Mommy Promises" which is a beautiful book depicting the feelings I have towards my duty as a mother to my girls.

Dear Gwen,

Today, as your father and I stand before our church family, we are committing ourselves to raising you in a way that is compatible with His word, we are making promises to you and to God and we are expressing many prayers and hopes we have for you.

Throughout my pregnancy and your birth, God used you to teach me big lessons about resting in Him, being still in Him, waiting for His good and perfect timing. In the last few weeks of my pregnancy, I did everything in my power to take control over the situation and quickly learned that I was being called to be still. The scripture that Papa read resonated with me throughout those days and throughout the hours of your birth.

It is my prayer for you that as you grow, you will fall deeply in love with your Savior that you will find rest in Him through each season of your life. That you will be still and find peace in him.

It is my prayer that you will always choose Jesus. That you will find refuge in Him and trust in Him both in the brightest days and the darkest hours.

It is my prayer that God will guard your heart and protect your innocence from the evils of this world.

It is my prayer that God will give me the strength and discernment to raise you by example as a Godly woman in a world where God is often pushed aside.

It is my prayer that you will find a lifelong best friend in your sister. A support system and a confidante.

It is our promise to you that we will love each other and strive to build a strong example of marriage for you to witness.

It is our promise that we will love you unconditionally and do our best to make the right decisions for you.

It is our promise that our home will constantly be filled with songs, prayers and conversations about Christ. That His name will never be unfamiliar to you. That you will always have a church family to call home.

Our child, you are fearfully and wonderfully made and we give thanks to God for entrusting you to us for our time on earth.

After reading my letter and book, Evan spoke for a few minutes about the blessing that parenting is and that despite it’s many challenges, it is fun and rewarding and the best part of our lives. He spoke of the woman who Gwen got her name from (his Grandmother) and how she was an example of beauty and faithfulness and family. He read from Ephesians 3: 14-19:

For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

He talked about our decision to add another child to our family and how her name has a strong connection to that decision. After he spoke, Gwen’s other grandfather, Evan’s dad, said a prayer of dedication over her and over us.

We don’t take our commitment to these children lightly. We are thankful for our family, for their examples. For our friends and their support. For a close knit church group full of people who have been parents longer than we have who are always eager to lend an ear, give advice and most importantly, pray for and with us on this journey.

For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
Psalm 139: 13-14

I’m Pretty Sure…

I’m pretty sure I showered more when Evalyn was a tiny newborn infant than I do now. I won’t even tell you how many days I often go between showers. You'd disown me.

~

I’m pretty sure that cutting my hair to where I can barely fit it in a ponytail just weeks before giving birth to another child may not have been a good idea. I’m gonna be grubby (see above, also).

~

I’m pretty sure I would like to close my eyes and wake up 3 weeks from now, when the baby is due to be born, and Evan has had time to get lots of work done on the house, without actually having to live these 3 weeks.

~

I’m pretty sure it was rude for the Grandmother at the park to turn on the splash pad when (an obviously unsure) Evalyn and I were standing directly beside one of the soakers and there were no other kids in sight who were interested in playing in it.

~

I’m pretty sure that while Evalyn and I are Daddy-less most evenings over the next few weeks, we will be making it a tradition to eat a Popsicle every night.

~

I’m pretty sure that I might fall down like a ton of bricks the next time we go swimming. The weightlessness in the water is amazing. The opposite of weightlessness as I climb out of the pool with my toddler in my arms, however? Opposite of amazing.

~

I’m pretty sure that my Mom heart is never more full than when we are driving, listening to praise and worship music, and I hear Eva singing along. “My so, my so yust sing” (my soul, my soul must sing) are the sweetest words to my ears.

~

I’m pretty sure that this pelvic pain is the worst pain I’ve felt in my life. Not exaggerating. If this experience is like Evalyn, childbirth will be nothing compared to this pain. I can hear my bones grinding together when I shift my legs.

~

I’m pretty sure I’ve eaten more chips during this pregnancy than I have in my entire life.

~

I’m pretty sure I should be ashamed to admit that.

~

I’m pretty sure I’m not.

Some real stuff

This is going to be a Debbie Downer post. I’m warning you. I contemplated whether or not I should even post it because I don’t really like to air my dirty laundry and spend my time complaining on the blog. But the truth is? Sometimes it’s needed. This is my real. It’s the real of motherhood, of marriage and of life. It’s probably also pretty incoherent but today, I just needed to write.

I am starting out this week absolutely and entirely burnt out, exhausted and feeling helpless. Last week was, arguably, my most difficult week of motherhood to date.

I feel like I did a less than stellar job in my role as Evalyn’s mother. First, we had the food poisoning incident which obviously wasn’t my fault but definitely hindered my ability to parent my kid. Throughout the ordeal, although not being sick, she just seemed off. At first, we attributed it to her being separated from me way more than she’s used to. Normally, she goes to daycare two mornings a week for 3.5 hours each time and on the evening I work, I leave less than an hour before she’s in bed. So, really, she’s with me the majority of the time. Last week, she was at daycare Tuesday morning, all day Wednesday and Thursday morning. Wednesday was her first full 8-5 day and by the end of it, she was beside herself. She wouldn’t even go to Ev when we got home. She wanted her Mama. Add to that I ended up having to leave her with her Auntie Keik on Friday while I went to do my glucose test and she was not a happy camper.

And as the week progressed, we started to realize that maybe it was more than just the effects of feeling disconnected from me. She started showing some of her tried and true teething signs and by Friday we quickly figured out that the eye teeth, they is a comin’. And seriously, I am confident that they have brought with them some sort of demon. She is a completely different child. No other round of teething has been like this.

Thankfully, Saturday morning I was surprised to notice that the top two have cut through. We didn’t even see them coming and were totally expecting the bottoms to show up first. So, hopefully, they won’t be far behind because neither of us are sure how long we can handle this cranky pants child.

And when I say cranky pants, I don’t just mean a little whiny. I mean, crying non stop during all waking hours. And many sleeping hours, as well. This morning? Up for good at 4:45. Not cool. She will barely touch a bite of food, which is understandable because her mouth hurts. But no food = hungry toddler = cranky toddler. Vicious cycle. Thank goodness for fruit smoothies and baby food pouches. They are my saving grace right now.

The whining is epic. The tantrums are out of control and I feel like I’m walking on eggshells because I have no idea what is going to set her off at any given moment. It’s ironic because I feel like I so badly need a little break, despite the fact that this past week I spent the least amount of time with her that I ever have in her life.

I’m caught in this place where I’m struggling (often times, tearfully) attempting to figure out where the balance is between, “I know you are teething and you are uncomfortable” and “That doesn’t mean you can behave any way you’d like”. As parents, Evan and I are still working out and negotiating what our best form of discipline is. Before becoming parents we had a trillion billion ideas of how we’d handle discipline, of course. Now that we’re in the moment? These decisions don’t seem so clear cut. Sometimes her language development makes it difficult for us to get a full grasp on exactly where she’s at cognitively. She talks a lot and she talks well. So sometimes this makes us forget that she’s only 18 months old, still a baby really, and probably can’t reason as well as we sometimes assume she can. It’s seems like we’re doing this awkward dance stepping all around, trying to sort out just how much she understands in terms of behaviour = consequence. Lord help us. We surely can’t do this alone.

Last night’s dinner was probably are most challenging parenting moment to date. Finally, Evan just bundled her up and took her outside, despite the fact that it was raining and chilly, because we knew that was the only thing that would work. And when they left? I lost it. I broke down. I cried. And I prayed, pleading with God to give me patience and help us to know how to deal. It was one of those moments were you just feel like you’re at the end of your rope. Even though I know I’m not. I know that every time I get to that place, God unravels a little more of my rope and gives me a little more. So now, I just continue to pray. For patience, for wisdom, for guidance. I have a feeling this will be the theme for, oh, the rest of my life?

The one where I talk about heavy stuff…

Lately I’ve been thinking about my role as a parent a lot. Too much. My mind has shifted from thinking about diapers, baby food and noisy plastic toys to thinking about the real task at hand:

That I am responsible for raising this tiny baby to become a young woman in today’s world.

And that, my friends, is a big deal to me.

For the first part of a child’s life, it is so easy to become wrapped up in caring for their survival. Her nourishment depends on me. Her health depends on me. Her hygiene depends on me. All of those things depend on me. But, in the grand scheme of things … this is the easy part, even if it doesn’t feel like it in the moment.

The hard part? Equipping this innocent little girl with the tools necessary to make smart, educated, responsible decisions as she grows up. To become a good woman. And even more than that. My goal? My main responsibility as her parent? To ensure that I do all that is within my power to bring her a place where she will know and love Jesus with all her heart. And to me … that is huge task.

I’ve started to wonder If I am up for this task. If I will be enough for her. Will I be able to teach her these things that are most important? Will my husband and I demonstrate a healthy marriage to her? Will I be able to demonstrate a healthy model of self esteem to her? Will I equip her with the necessary tools to choose good friends? To say no to things that are wrong? To be a strong, confident, responsible woman?

Am I the kind of woman that I would hope my daughter will grow to be?

As I’ve started reflected on these things, the prayers I pray over my daughter have shifted in focus. I’ve been spending a lot of time praying for her heart. Praying that her innocence will be protected. That God will guard her heart as she grows. That she will come to know His love. I pray for the friends she will have when she is a teenager. I pray for the boys she will date. I pray for the spouse she will choose. I pray for myself as a mother. I pray for Evan as a father. I pray for her faith and for her soul and for her salvation.

Perhaps I’m putting too much focus on my job and not giving enough credit to God. Because, really, it’s not up to me at all. It’s my job to plant the seed but God is so much greater than I and He is able to do things that are bigger, better and more amazing than I could ever imagine. And it’s a good thing. Because the answer is no. I am not enough. I could never be enough. It is only by the grace of God that I will be anywhere close to enough for her. And so, I will cling to that. And keep on praying.

Perfect Timing

This post has been in the works for a long time. A long, long time. Like, more than a year. So the other day when I saw Katie post on the Poop Whisperer about how she and her husband came to know they were ‘ready’ to become parents, I decided I needed to sit down and write about this. This may be one of the most meaningful posts I’ve ever written.

If you don’t already know, Evalyn was a surprise baby. Not a mistake. Not an oops. She was a surprise. The biggest and most exciting surprise we could have ever asked for.

Despite the fact that she was a surprise, the story of the timing of her arrival is a good one. It has God written all over it. Retrospectively, I now realize that Evalyn’s conception and birth has taught me more about God than any other experience in my life – how to trust Him amidst the unknown, the beauty of creation, and the perfection of His timing.

Evan and I got married when we were young. Really young. I was 19. He was 20. We knew we wanted to have a family together. That is what drew us to each other. I was in the middle of my undergrad degree when we got married. At the time, we assumed I would finish as quickly as possible, get a job, and then try to get pregnant as soon as I could qualify for maternity leave.

Over the next two years, things changed. I fell in love with learning. I was coming close to the end of my undergrad program and I knew I wasn’t ready to be done. I did something I never thought I would do. I applied to grad school. I was accepted and committed to spending the next two years completing my MA.

All through my years as a student, we talked a lot about having babies. We talked about when we’d have them. What we’d name them. How we’d raise them. And at different times, one of us or the other would think that despite where we were in life, we wanted a baby. Now. Somehow, the other person was always on the opposite side. When I wanted a baby, he didn’t. When he wanted a baby, I didn’t. So because of that, we never took the plunge towards starting a family. We knew it would be the best, the most logical, the smartest decision to wait until I had completed my degrees, started a career, and we had bought a house.

There were a few times when I was a little suspicious and convinced myself to pee on a stick. Of course, each of those times, I was 98% certain that I was not, in fact, pregnant. And although I was nervous to the point of shaking each time I POAS and read the results, like Katie wrote in her post, when I saw the “negative”, there were always tears. Tears that stung me with a sense of disappointment and loss. Even though we didn’t “want” a baby, weren’t trying for a baby, there was always that feeling that maybe, just maybe, if I was pregnant, it wouldn’t be so bad.

The summer between my first and second year of grad school (the summer of 2009), I started to get baby fever like whoa. It was different than any of the times in the past when either of us had the itch. I started to feel like something was really missing. Like I really really wanted – no, needed – to be a mother. And I needed it now. We were celebrating our fourth wedding anniversary and honestly? If you had asked me when we got married, I would have said that we would have kids by then, for sure. Life was taking much longer than expected to "start”.

Evan and I talked here and there about the possibility. But, I still had a year left to complete my degree. We thought that maybe, just maybe, we could try to get pregnant between November 2009 and January 2010. If it happened, then we would know that it was the right choice. And if it didn’t, we would move on. We knew that if I got pregnant in that window, it would give me plenty of time to complete my degree, with enough time to spare to prepare for a baby but not so much time that I would get bored, since we knew there wouldn’t be time to start a career in the meantime. If I was going to take the plunge, I didn’t want to end up with too much time in between school and baby. It was the closest we had ever come to being serious about trying for a baby.

But then other thoughts flooded our minds. We needed to buy a house. I needed to start a career. I needed to ensure that I would qualify for maternity benefits.

Having a baby just wasn’t logical.

So we decided against it. We would wait.

Maybe in a few years it would be time.

Logic won out.

Our baby discussions stopped. It just wasn’t our time. I moved on. But of course, still felt the itch every time I cuddled a new baby. And every time I found out another friend or relative was expecting. The itch came back. But I brushed it aside. It just wasn’t time.

And then?

January 10th, 2010, I peed on a stick once more, expecting the same results as the times before. Secretly hoping it would be positive, but assuming that I would feel those same mixed emotions, and tears of disappointment when I saw the negative.

But I didn’t. I saw a positive. I was pregnant.

I got pregnant, unexpectedly, in December of 2009. Right in the middle of the “window” we had originally discussed as being the only possible time we could try to conceive, if we were going to. This meant that we would have a baby in September 2010. Enough time for me to finish school and have a break but not enough time to feel like I should have started a career. Just like we had discussed.

I am positive that in the midst of our decision making, God was laughing at us. Knowing that regardless of what choice we made, however logical it may have been, that we were in for the greatest surprise of our lives.

The greatest surprise that came at just the right time.

Perfect timing.

Eva’s Dedication

On Sunday evening, we had a special Baby Dedication service at our church to celebrate all the babies (6 of ‘em) who were born into our congregation in 2010.

It was so important to me to do something like this – to make a pledge to Evalyn and to God about how we will raise her.

The service began with one of our ministers saying a few words and one of our elders leading a few songs.

Then, each family who had a baby in 2010 was given the opportunity to use part of the service to do whatever they wished for their child.

We began our portion by having my Dad read the scripture that we chose long ago to be our “family motto”.

“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. Love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. Deut. 6:4-9

Following that, The Dude spoke a few (very meaningful and very emotional) words about becoming a father. He talked about finding out we were expecting, watching the baby grow throughout my pregnancy, and then witnessing the miracle of childbirth when Evalyn was born.

While he spoke, Evalyn and I stood beside him and she looked up at him and watched him the entire time.

He closed his portion by reading one of my labour scriptures:

A woman giving birth to a child has pain because her time has come; but when her baby is born she forgets the anguish because of her joy that a child is born into the world. – John 16:21

After he spoke, I read the following letter that I wrote to Evalyn on behalf of her father and I.

Dear Evalyn,

We prayed for you before we knew you and since you have come into our lives, you have filled our hearts with more joy than we could have ever imagined.

Throughout the years that you are entrusted to us, we will strive to always do what is best for you, to protect you from harm and to give you what you need.

We promise to love you, to cherish you, and to appreciate the gift that you are through every season of your life.

We promise to love you, to love each other, and most importantly, to love God every day. We promise to speak, sing and read about Jesus with you. We promise to make His name the most common name in our home. We promise to pray both with and for you all the time. We dedicate ourselves to raising you in a way that is compatible with God’s word.

We take our commitment to you, to each other, and to God very seriously - which is why we have chosen to stand before our family, friends and church family today, making these promises to you and to God.

Evan’s Dad then led two songs that we had selected that are meaningful to us. The first was “Because He Lives” and the second was “I Come to the Garden Alone”.

We selected “Because He Lives” because of the words in the second verse:

How sweet to hold a newborn baby,
And feel the pride and joy he gives.
But greater still the calm assurance,
This child can face uncertain days because He lives.

The other song, I Come to the Garden Alone, is very meaningful to the Dude. His mother used to sing this song to him when he was in her womb and throughout his infancy and childhood.

After we were finished, the other families all had an opportunity to speak, read, sing, and/or pray over their babies. There were scriptures read, songs played, and words spoken. Some of it made us cry. Some of it made us laugh. And it was all so special. One family had the 5 year old “Big Sister” sing Jesus Loves Me with the words changed to Jesus Loves Babies. She also led the song I Am a Sheep. It was precious. When that portion was done, the wife of one of our elder’s who very recently passed away spoke some very meaningful words to the young families that were present.

Our other minister told a few stories of answered prayers in regards to some other children in our congregation. Then, he closed in a prayer as everyone laid hands on the 2010 babies.

After such a special service I can’t help but think how we are so very blessed to be a part of a church family who truly understands the gift that children are to a family. Not only did we, and the parents of the other 2010 babies, have the opportunity to make this important pledge to our babies, but we also made a pledge to our church family and to God. And likewise, we know that our church family made a pledge to us – to help us, to pray for us, and to support us as we raise our daughter.

And that is truly a gift worth cherishing.

**Special thanks to Wilma for the photos!**

Patience

If you haven't been able to tell, I have been starting to get a little impatient waiting for the Little Monkey to arrive over the past few weeks.

The Dude has been teasing me lately, telling people that this end stage of pregnancy has been especially easy on me since I really love it when things are unplanned, unscheduled, and out of my control. He says that since I just love to fly by the seat of my pants, not having any idea what week, day, and hour the Monkey will decide to join the world has been a walk in the park for me.

{do you sense his sarcasm?}

Last night, as I was laying in bed falling asleep, the Dude went through my stack of labour scriptures and read each of them out loud to me. While he was doing so, one of the verses that I haven't focused on quite as much as some of the others really stood out to me.

"Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him" - Ps 37: 7b

This baby will be born soon. Perhaps not on my schedule. Perhaps not in my time. But this baby will be born soon.

God knows exactly when, how, and where this baby will enter the world.

God has had this child's name engraved in the palm of his hand since the beginning of all time.

And He has picked the perfect birthday for our Little Monkey.

***

I don't think it's a coincidence that the song 'While I'm Waiting' is playing on my playlist as I write this.

Encouragement for Childbirth

As we are getting closer and closer to delivery, I have started to spend some time reflecting on scriptures that I find encouraging and helpful in light of the task that is ahead of me. I have prepared a stack of cue cards with these scriptures and have placed it on my nightstand so that I am able to read them each morning when I wake up and each night before I go to bed. My plan is that when I am in early labour, I will post them in various areas of the house so that I can read them and/or have them read to me while I am labouring. I am also going to make another set of them to pack in my overnight bag that will be ready in case we change our minds and transfer to the hospital so that I will have them there with me as well.

There are a number of verses, and all are very meaningful to me so I thought I would share them with you.

I will start with the two that I have selected as my overall labor verses...

"But you, be strong and do not lose courage, for there is reward for your work".
- 2 Chronicles 15:7

"Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go".
- Joshua 1:9

"He gives strength to the weary, and to him who lacks might, He increases power".
- Is. 40:29

"Do not be grieved, for the joy of the Lord is your strength".
- Neh. 8:10

"I lift up my eyes to the hills, where does my help come from? My help comes from the Lord, maker of heaven and earth".
- Ps 121: 1-2

"Shall I bring to the point of birth, and not give delivery", says the Lord?"
- Is 66:9

"Whenever a woman is in labour, she has pain, because her time has come, but when she gives birth to the child, she no longer remembers the anguish because of the JOY that a CHILD has been BORN into the world".
- John 16:21

"For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and sound judgement".
- 2 Timothy: 1:7

"Be still before the Lord, and wait patiently for Him".
- Ps. 37: 7b

"I sought the Lord and He answered me, and delivered my from all my fears".
- Ps 34:4

"Delight yourself in the Lord; and He will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, trust also in Him, and He will do it".
- Ps 37: 4-5

"Yet you brought me out of the womb; you made me trust in you even at my mother's breast. From birth I was cast upon you; from my mother's womb you have been my God".
- Ps 22: 9-10

"Because the sovereign Lord helps me, I will not be disgraced. Therefore, I have set my face like flint, and I know I will not be put to shame".
- Is. 50:7

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me".
- Phil. 4:13

"Those who wait for the Lord will gain new strength; they will mount up with wings like eagles, they will run and not get tired, they will walk and not grow weary".
- Is 40:31

Do any of you have scriptures that you have found encouraging to meditate on either while preparing for childbirth or while laboring?

A few months in....

A few months ago, I posted and told you about a major life change that the Fabulous Dude and I were making. In that post, I told you that the Dude was leaving the job he had worked at for the past 5 years in order to start his own business as a sub contractor. Since that day, I realize I have not mentioned his employment again.

I decided now that we are a few months in to the new job, I should give a little update on how things are going.

The first few months of the Dude's new job have been exciting, stressful, busy, tiring, and have taken some getting used to. But, he's happy. I'm happy. We're happy.

The hours are different - he leaves a bit earlier and usually gets home later, which makes our evenings feel like they go by much more quickly. There have also been days, and weeks, where he has been working well into the evening and night. One of those weeks was the hottest week we've had all summer and the heat, added to the fact that I was already in bed by the time he got home every night, added to the fact that I have crazy preggo hormones coursing through my body, did not make for a happy Lucy.

But, we managed. And in exchange for the longer hours, he also has more flexibility and is able to be off if he wants or needs to be for any reason.

Aside from the different hours, the actual work that the Dude is doing is more challenging, more fulfilling, and more enjoyable for him. He's learning new things each day and coming home feeling as though he has accomplished a great deal in a day. Even within the first few weeks of making the change, I started to notice a significant difference in his attitude and outlook on life. He's more satisfied, and it's obvious.

Since the change required the Dude to start his own business, there has been a significant increase in the amount of paperwork and organization that goes along with it. And because I am currently a SAH/WAHM2B (that stands for stay at home/work from home Mama 2 be, okay?) I have taken on the majority of this end of the deal. It makes sense for us because I am home most of the time, I am the one who uses the computer most, and does most of the organization for other areas of our life, and well, I am the one who likes that kind of stuff. I've got excel spreadsheets coming out my wazoo tracking the income and expenses for the business and keeping track of everything that needs to be kept tracked of. It has definitely taken some learning and communication between the two of us to figure out a system that works for us, but I think that we've managed fairly well.

Another "responsibility" I have taken on to help the Dude out with his new job is packing his lunch. At his old job, he ate in a lunch room/cafeteria with a fridge, microwave etc., so he usually just grabbed whatever leftovers we had and took them to heat up. And, if we didn't have anything laying around for him to take, we always knew he had the option of purchasing a cheap lunch at work. Now, those amenities are not available and seriously, folks, it has taken me some major adjustment to get used to buying and making things to have on hand for his lunches. He takes a lunchbox with him so it has become my routine to make him a sandwich, grab him a few snacks, and stick the pail in the fridge before going to bed. Then in the morning he can just grab it, throw in some ice packs and be on his way. I feel bad because his lunch is the same almost every day - which is super boring IMHO, but he doesn't seem to mind.

Lastly, the other big (and perhaps most important) thing that has changed with the new job is the amount of coffee that is brewed and drank in our home. We used to be weekend coffee makers only because he always had his morning coffee when he arrived at work. Now, I also have made it a habit to set the coffee pot before bed so it's ready to just be clicked on in the morning. A coffee pot with a timer would be so lovely (Do you hear that, Santa? Are you listening?) Since he started his new job, we've been through 2 large tins of coffee and one tin used to last us for months and months and months.

Even though I was so hesitant about making this huge transition, I feel confident that the Lord is guiding us through it all. I am glad to have had a few months to get adjusted to new routines and responsibilities before we become parents and seeing how much happier my Fabulous Dude is makes me know that it's more than worth it.

Reflections on Mother's Day

In the past, I've never really given Mother's Day a lot of thought. Sure, I've always given my mom a card, maybe a little gift, and wished her a Happy Mother's Day, but I never really took any time to think about what this day may signify for certain people. This year, I have found myself somewhat caught up and self-absorbed in the excitement of this being my "first" Mother's Day. Thankfully, earlier this week, through a number of different vessels, God convicted me of this selfish attitude and I found myself reflecting and thinking of people who are in different situations than I this year.

So, while today I will celebrate my mother, my mother in law, my grandmothers, and many other mothers in my life ... I am also taking time to pray for those who come face to face with Mother's Day with feelings of pain, loss, apprehension, and fear.

Today...

I pray for the woman who is wondering when it will be her turn.
I pray for the woman who fears it will never be her turn.

I pray for the woman who wonders if she'll ever see two pink lines.
I pray for the woman who has been told that she may never see two pink lines.
I pray for the woman who is desperately waiting for the person who will someday make her a mother to come into her life.
I pray for the woman who is waiting for her baby to come home to her.
I pray for the woman who feels the pain of disappointment when an unwelcome monthly visitor arrives once again.
I pray for the women who is made to feel a sense of guilt and failure at not being able to give her husband a child.
I pray for the woman who feels the pain at having lost her baby due to miscarriage, disease, or accident.
I pray for the woman who wonders how she will feed and provide for her baby today.
I pray for the child who feels left out at school when the kids make mother's day crafts because he has no one to give his to.
Today I pray for all those who wake up on Mother's Day and feel a sting of pain, loss, and fear.

April Goal Review and May Goals

It's hard to believe it's that time again ... I think I say that every month ... but here we are, at the beginning of a new month.

April Goal Review

1. School goals: Tidy up thesis based on advisor's feedback, send first draft to committee. Begin planning and preparing for defense. Mark final presentation, final checkpoint, and major assignment. Complete all TAing duties.

Done,done, and done! All of my TAing duties are officially done. My thesis has been approved by my advisor and all committee members. My edits are done and my final draft is ready to go. I am in the process of securing an external examiner and setting a date for defense.

2. Faith Goals: Begin a new Beth Moore bible study with women at church. Continue keeping up with the text project.

I have had the opportunity to complete the first few weeks of the "Beloved Disciple" series with Beth Moore. I have been so encouraged and uplifted by spending two hours a week with some of the most wise, God fearing women I have ever met. It is wonderful! I have almost completed 1 Corinthians with the text project and will be moving on to the book of Mark soon.

3. Fitness Goals: Begin a yoga class. I am really pumped about this one! Continue briskly walking at least 3 times per week.

I am loving my yoga class. The instructor is fabulous and although it's not specifically a prenatal class, she just recently had a baby of her own so she helps me to modify some of the poses if necessary to accommodate my changing body. I have been walking almost every day.

4. Plan/attend three wedding/baby showers for friends.

Done, done (didn't blog about the shower for Jacob and Becky), and done!

5. Get the garden worked, potentially start planting some things depending on the weather. *This is definitely more of a FD goal ... I serve as more of a supervisory role in terms of the garden. At least until it's time to harvest. Then I get in there like crazy.

The garden is worked. Potatoes are in and strawberries are in! The rest will be planted throughout the month of May. I will start taking some garden pictures and tracking our progress this month.

6. Do some spring cleaning: wash windows (which isn't hard since our basement apartment only has one patio door for a window), scrub all floors thoroughly, organize FD's closet, start purging in the spare room (i.e. baby's room).

I did do some major spring cleaning in preparation for the shower I hosted here, but I didn't do much in the baby's room. After my defense is done, that will be my task. But, windows, doors, baseboards, walls, ceilings etc., were all washed and cleaned!

7. See our little one at our 20 week ultrasound!

You betcha!

8. Celebrate Easter with my family.

We had a great weekend with my family. You can read about it here.

Goals for May:

1. Send thesis to external examiner. Set defense date. Prepare and practice for defense presentation.

2. Plant the rest of the garden.

3. Host a wedding shower.

4. Watch the SERIES FINALE of LOST!

5. Decide if/when/where we are going take prenatal classes.

6. Attend a good friend's wedding.

7. Attend a friend's personal shower.

8. Exercise at least 3 times per week.

What a Weekend!

This weekend, I had the wonderful opportunity to attend a Beth Moore Living Proof Live event in Toronto. It was so encouraging and uplifting to be with 3300 sisters in Christ, worshiping and praising together! And what was super duper cool about it was that our church group had the 3rd largest group there! Beth even announced our group and we all got to cheer and shout! I was going to try to convey some of the ideas and challenges she presented us with this weekend ... but I don't think I can do it justice. So I will just say, if you ever have the chance to hear her speak, do whatever possible to make it happen! She has a real gift. Travis Cottrell lead the worship and that was amazing, too. Throughout the entire conference, I was challenged and convicted and have come home with a new, refreshed desire to serve God in all I do.

Here is the crowd:

Here is a shot of some of our group:

Me and C-Biscuit:

Along with a bunch of other women from my church, my mom, sister and sister-in-law came with me so we decided to make a weekend out of it and stayed in Toronto both Friday and Saturday night. The hotel was great, aside from the 3 am firedrill ... we were on the 25th floor. Luckily, it was a false alarm and we didn't have to evacuate. If we did, we were planning on calling the front desk, informing them that there were two pregnant women in our room and that we would need two very strong firemen to come carry us down the 25 flights of stairs.

After the conference was over, we did some shopping and then had dinner at Benihana. Delish!

After that, we headed back to the hotel and went out for dessert. I got cheese blintzes and they were so tasty.

Then we crashed. Well, all of us except Logi. She's the night hawk!

On Sunday we got up and headed out in the morning because there was going to be a St Patty's Day Parade and we didn't want to get trapped in traffic. We headed back to W.loo to drop off Logi and had some lunch there. Then we waited for the guys to arrive and all parted ways. We had a bit of chaos trying to figure out how to get everyone home. The boys all had met in my hometown at my parent's house to spend the weekend together and somewhere along the way, FD lost his keys to his truck. So, he had to get a ride to my brother's with him on Sunday and jump in with my mom and I to get back home. Since my mom was staying over here Sunday night and Monday, we headed back with her last night and picked up the truck with my set of keys. And then, about 10 minutes after we left, my dad found his keys. Perfect ....

My mom and I did a bunch of shopping in the states and in Canada on Monday and I got a good start on my maternity wardrobe. It feels good to know that I've got some pretty pieces that will fit me comfortably as my tum tum grows. Speaking of my tum tum ...

Everyone says I really popped this week ... what do you think? Am I showing yet?

Te he he, love the maternity store bump! Perhaps I will show a real belly shot later this week.

TGIF

My dear friend SnoWhite often posts "TGIF" posts where she lists all of the goodnesses she has experienced in her week. This week was so full of goodness for me that I just had to join in.

Goodness is .... visiting with family.

Goodness is .... watching the Season Premier of Lost with my friend T while eating yummy brownies and snack mix.

Goodness is .... discussing Lost with so many blog friends throughout the week.

Goodness is .... professionals who go above and beyond the call of duty to demonstrate kindness.

Goodness is .... waking up in the middle of the night and thinking that it must be morning but then realizing that you still have hours and hours and hours to sleep :)

Goodness is .... selling the FD's truck within one week of listing it and to the first person who looked at it.

Goodness is .... buying a truck that is more accommodating to our needs.

Goodness is .... feeling God's peace amidst unknown terrain.

Goodness is .... walking outside in sunny weather.

Goodness is .... getting ready to spend the weekend with Little H for his first sleepover at Aunt LiLi's. His first sleepover with Mommy, that is.

Goodness is .... brownies. Did I say that already?

Goodness is .... being productive on my thesis.

Goodness is .... witnessing the desires of my sweet friend's heart come to fruition. Jacob is on his way home!

What has been goodness in your life this week?

My New Year's Resolution

Last year, my new year's resolution was to start baking my own bread and give up the store bought stuff. Guess what? I actually achieved it! Aside from one emergency package of store bought tortillas in February '09, I have not bought bread in over a year!

I really think that talking about it on my blog helped. Even though I know no one of you would have been sorely offended or disappointed if I bought a loaf of bread, I felt some sort of accountability. Like I had to do it. And I did. And I'm glad. Baking my own bread is now just a normal, natural part of life. It's just what I do. I'm not planning on stopping.

This year, my goal is to read through the entire New Testament. As I mentioned last week, this goal was inspired by Jenny and SnoWhite, who are both very committed to their bible reading. In the past, I've often said, "I want to read the bible more", or "I want to read the whole bible in a year", but it's never happened. Why? Because in the first case, I wasn't specific enough about my goal and in the second case, I wasn't serious about my goal and it was overwhelming.

I've chosen to start with the New Testament, because it seems like a more manageable and feasible goal. I don't' want to overwhelm myself because then I might give up. The NT seems reasonable. There are 260 chapters. It can be done in a year, no problem.

Thanks to SnoWhite, I've been connected to a great program that leads you through the NT in a year. It's called the Text Project. If you sign up, they will e-mail you your assigned reading each morning. There is one chapter for every week day of the year. (You can also sign up for an OT and Psalms program, if you're interested).

To keep track of my progress, I have added a "What I'm Reading" feature on my side bar. I will cross out each book once it's completed and I will try my best to update it each Sunday so you can see which chapters I'll be reading that week.

I am so excited to see what God has in store for me. Although I've read most, perhaps all, of the NT at one point or another, I've never sat down and read the whole thing straight through. The Word is alive and I am confident that I will learn new and wonderful things - perhaps when/where I'm least expecting it.

Would anyone like to join me on this quest?

This posted is being linked at Kelly's Korner: Show Us How You Live: New Year's Resolutions

Mary's Song

On Friday night, the dude and I enjoyed a lovely Christmas dinner together. Once we were finished eating, we decided to sit down and read the account of Jesus' birth from the book of Luke. This is something we'd like to carry on year after year - especially when we have kids. While reading, a certain portion that I have never really noticed before jumped out to me. I just love that about God's word ... there can be passages I have read time and time again, but sometimes, something completely new jumps out to me.

When thinking about the account of Jesus' birth, I always think about the angel coming to Mary, Mary and Joseph traveling to Bethlehem, the birth that took place in a stable, and the visit from the wisemen. But there are other lessons to be learned from this story, as well. An important aspect, I think, is to consider the woman whom God chose to be the vessel that brought Christ into this world. So on Friday night, while reading, my focus was drawn to "Mary's Song", which depicts what Mary said to Elizabeth after she was told she would give birth to Jesus.

And Mary said:
"My soul glorifies the Lord
and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for He has been mindful
of the humble state of his servant.
From now on all generations will call me blessed,
for the Mighty One has done great things for me—
holy is His name.
His mercy extends to those who fear Him,
from generation to generation.
He has performed mighty deeds with His arm;
He has scattered those who are proud in their inmost thoughts.
He has brought down rulers from their thrones
but has lifted up the humble.
He has filled the hungry with good things
but has sent the rich away empty.
He has helped his servant Israel,
remembering to be merciful
to Abraham and his descendants forever,
even as He said to our fathers."
Luke 1: 46-55, NIV.

Other than her first conversation with the angel, this is really the only place during the account of Jesus' birth that we get hear Mary's voice. I am astounded by her words in this passage. Mary was in a position where she had to carry out what might be seen as one of the most important tasks in history ... and one that would not have been easy or without consequences to her physical body, her future, her reputation, and her relationships.

Yet, there is no WHY ME?
There is no ARE YOU SURE I CAN DO THIS?
There is no I DIDN'T ASK FOR THIS.

Instead, Mary is seen glorifying and praising God for the great things He had done for her. Amazing, isn't it?

Sometimes I Get Tired

Sometimes I get tired.

Sometimes I get tired of freezing my hands off from digging through the freezer to find the cherries I need to bake muffins, only to discover that I dug out sour cherries, when I needed sweet cherries, and have to go digging again.

Sometimes I get tired of having to walk out to the barn in the rain to get shredded zucchini from our "overflow freezer".

Sometimes I get tired of picking up the fabulous dude's dirty clothes, of putting them in the hamper, of washing them, of drying them, of folding them and then of doing it all over again.

Sometimes I get tired of menu planning, grocery shopping and cooking week after week.

Sometimes I get tired of taking 10 minutes out of a busy day to process the stale bread crusts to make bread crumbs.

Sometimes I get tired of working on my thesis day after day.

Sometimes I get tired of wiping up muddy paw prints off the floor.

Sometimes I get tired of life.

But then I stop to think.

And I realize how blessed I am to have such a vast assortment of chicken, pork, venison, shrimp, fish, fruit, vegetables and baked goods in the freezer that I literally have to dig to find what I need.

I become aware of how spoiled we are that we needed to make use of the extra freezer in the barn at the end of the summer because we couldn't fit everything we have into our regular freezer.

I think about how blessed I am to have a husband to pick up after, clothes to wear, and a washing machine and dryer that were given to us for free.

I think of how incredible it is that we have the means to eat new meals each week and how blessed we are to have enough food in our home that we could eat for weeks without buying a single item.

I consider how abundant our blessings are that we have enough bread that we can afford to let the crusts go stale to become bread crumbs.

I remember that the privilege I have to become educated is one that many do not have.

I think about how comforting it was when Nika cuddled up with me to have a nap when I wasn't feeling good, and when she came to check if I was alright when I burnt my hand with boiling water (even though I'm pretty sure she was trying to see if any ribs fell out of the pot). And I think about how nice it was when she licked the brown sugar I spilled off the floor so I didn't have to sweep.

I realize that I take for granted that I am healthy and blessed beyond compare.

And then I am no longer tired.

Then, I am ashamed for ever being tired.

Then, I realize how selfish I am.

Then, I am humbled.

Then, I am grateful.

Random Dozen - Dr. Mario Addiction Edition

I had so much fun with my Random Dozen last week that I decided to join again. I just might make this a weekly event. Any one else care to join? Thanks to Lid for hosting!

1. What was the last song you listened to?

Praise You in this Storm - Casting Crowns

2. Have you ever had “buyer’s remorse” over anything?

Many many things. Unfortunately, I can be a somewhat impulsive shopper. Although, I am getting much better in my old age. I can't think of any major purchases I've had buyer's remorse over but I've certainly regretted an ice cream cone or two.

3. What is something in your life that you are thankful for now that you didn’t think you would be at the time of the event? (Something that seemed ill-timed, inconvenient or hurtful which turned out to be a good thing)

My first real break up.

4. Do you watch the Macy’s Thanksgiving Parade every year? If so, do you have a favorite float or balloon?

Considering I'm from Canada and our Thanksgiving was about a month ago - now. The closest I get to watching the Macy's Parade is when I watch Miracle On 34th Street - although I think that's the Santa Clause Parade. So, never mind. The answer is just no.

5. Share a quote, scripture, poem or lyric which has been an inspiration to you lately.

Can I share three four? (I couldn't stop after three!)

"And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?" Esther 4:14b NIV

"And if I perish, I perish" Esther 4:16b NIV

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth." Psalm 46:10 NIV

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates" Deuteronomy 6: 5-8 NIV

6. This is meant to be a fun question, and this is a G-rated blog, but please share a “guilty pleasure,” something that you enjoy that’s probably not the most edifying, time-worthy or healthy thing you could be indulging in. Did I mention--G rating?

Chocolate, Pepsi, Potato Chips ... unfortunately, I don't stop there ...

7. What Thanksgiving food are you looking forward to?

Seriously, folks ... Thanksgiving was a month ago! But... when Thanksgiving is approaching, I look forward to the stuffing and gravy. Oh boy. I might have to come over to the states in a few weeks just so I can do it all again.

8. What is your favorite book to read to children, or what was your favorite childhood book?

The Twelve Dancing Princesses. I'm not even sure if I have a copy of this book again. It was my favourite when I was a child and my parents hated it because it was SOO long. I also knew the entire story by heart, so they couldn't get away with trying to skip a few pages here and there. My poor parents. I guess it was payback for the many hours of lonliness I endured because of #11 (see below).

9. Do you collect anything? (Feel free to post a photo.)

I used to collect Zebras. Those were the days. All of my zebra paraphenalia is packed away, waiting to make it's second debut someday. I now collect roosters and olive things in my kitchen and dining room. I also collect Christmas decorations. And friends. I collect friends. They are the best collection.

10. Gift bags or wrapping paper?

Wrapping paper! Opening presents with gift bags is NO fun. My mother-in-law used to wrap all of her Christmas presents in gift bags until I came around and starting wrapping all of her presents for her - in wrapping paper. Unfortunately, that meant everyone else got their presents wrapped in paper and mine were always still in bags. Last year, I put my foot down and told her I'd only do her wrapping if she promised to wrap my gifts with paper. She agreed. Just wait - in a few months, I'll show you how much I love wrapping Christmas gifts!

11. Share an after-school memory from when you were younger. What was your routine like on an average day?

One time in grade 2 or 3, I remember coming home crying, because the kids in class had seen my white undies with red hearts on them sticking out of my pants during story time and had teased me all day. I never wore those undies again, yet I still remember exactly what they looked like.

As for my daily routine, I would come home, my mom would give me a good ol' bowl of melted cheese and she and I would sit down to play Dr. Mario on Nintendo for a few hours minutes. And then I'd tell her I was hungry for supper and she would shoo me away and tell me to wait a few minutes while she played "just one" one player game .... six hours later we would eat supper. This is an exaggeration but my mom has a small problem with addiction to video games, like Dr. Mario. Sorry for sharing your problems with the world, Mumma! ha ha ha!

Also, in grade 6 I remember coming home after school with my BFF almost every day and eating banana chocolate chip muffins that my mumma had made. This happened on the good days - when she wasn't playing Dr. Mario.

(Sidenote: My mother was actually a very good mother, despite her Dr. Mario tendencies. She read me The Twelve Dancing Princesses on a very regular basis...after I broke the Nintendo. Just kidding. Maybe.)

12. True story: Once, in a job interview, I was asked this question and told there would be no clarifying; I simply had to answer the question: “When you’re fishing, do you feel for the fish?” So what about you? When you're fishing, do you feel for the fish??

Fish are slimy and gross.

Which room do you live in?

I have recently restarted working my way through The Love Dare by Stephen and Alex Kendrick. This is a devotional book that is centered around becoming a better spouse and learning to lead your heart to unconditional love. The book is a 40 day challenge that discusses a different aspect of love, presents a specific dare and provides questions to reflect on each day. A few days ago, one of the themes really struck a chord with me and has been on my heart ever since.

The theme for that day was "Love Believes the Best". The writing was focused on seeking out the positive in your spouse rather than constantly focusing on his flaws. In this chapter, the authors presented an analogy that was very meaningful to me. They discuss two rooms that are housed in our hearts: the Appreciation Room and the Depreciation Room. The appreciation room is where we store all of the positive and encouraging aspects that we love about our spouse. Alternately, we also have a depreciation room, where we harbor negativity, irritations and flaws.

While discussing these two rooms, the authors challenge us to reflect on these rooms and to think about where we spend most of our time. Do we spend the majority of our time in the Appreciation Room, building our spouses up and encouraging them to succeed? Or do we spend more time in the Depreciation Room, criticizing our spouses and bringing them down?

In the chapter, the authors suggest that the only time we should enter the Depreciation Room is to write "COVERED IN LOVE" across the walls, over top of the negative thoughts and to pray for our spouse and for our marriage. This image makes me think of Jesus - and how he has written these very words - "COVERED WITH LOVE" - over top of all of our sins and shortcomings.

I have been reflecting on this a great deal - gazing into my own heart and my own thoughts to determine which room I live in most often. Unfortunately, I know that I spend far too much time in the Depreciation Room and not enough time in the Appreciation Room. But I don't want to. I want to dwell in the Appreciation room because I know that is where Jesus lives.

Whether it be with your spouse, your children, your parents, your friends or your coworkers, what room do you live in? The Appreciation Room or the Depreciation Room? Have you written "COVERED IN LOVE" in the Depreciation Room?