Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Which room do you live in?

I have recently restarted working my way through The Love Dare by Stephen and Alex Kendrick. This is a devotional book that is centered around becoming a better spouse and learning to lead your heart to unconditional love. The book is a 40 day challenge that discusses a different aspect of love, presents a specific dare and provides questions to reflect on each day. A few days ago, one of the themes really struck a chord with me and has been on my heart ever since.

The theme for that day was "Love Believes the Best". The writing was focused on seeking out the positive in your spouse rather than constantly focusing on his flaws. In this chapter, the authors presented an analogy that was very meaningful to me. They discuss two rooms that are housed in our hearts: the Appreciation Room and the Depreciation Room. The appreciation room is where we store all of the positive and encouraging aspects that we love about our spouse. Alternately, we also have a depreciation room, where we harbor negativity, irritations and flaws.

While discussing these two rooms, the authors challenge us to reflect on these rooms and to think about where we spend most of our time. Do we spend the majority of our time in the Appreciation Room, building our spouses up and encouraging them to succeed? Or do we spend more time in the Depreciation Room, criticizing our spouses and bringing them down?

In the chapter, the authors suggest that the only time we should enter the Depreciation Room is to write "COVERED IN LOVE" across the walls, over top of the negative thoughts and to pray for our spouse and for our marriage. This image makes me think of Jesus - and how he has written these very words - "COVERED WITH LOVE" - over top of all of our sins and shortcomings.

I have been reflecting on this a great deal - gazing into my own heart and my own thoughts to determine which room I live in most often. Unfortunately, I know that I spend far too much time in the Depreciation Room and not enough time in the Appreciation Room. But I don't want to. I want to dwell in the Appreciation room because I know that is where Jesus lives.

Whether it be with your spouse, your children, your parents, your friends or your coworkers, what room do you live in? The Appreciation Room or the Depreciation Room? Have you written "COVERED IN LOVE" in the Depreciation Room?

10 comments:

Jill said...

that is beautiful! i think i might re-post this blog this week if you don't mind. i really love the message!

Brittany Ann said...

We have been putting off reading Love Dare, so we can really dedicate to it. I really hope we can get to it soon, though. It sounds so important for married couples.

Gwen said...

What a fascinating way to look at life and your relationships!

I must still be in the honeymoon phase because after more than four years now with Art, I don't spend anytime in the "depreciation room".
Our differences make us a better team and I cherish them.

SnoWhite said...

what a great post. I'm challenged to think about being in the appreciation room all the time!

...::Mrs. Southern Bride::... said...

I really want to read The Love Dare!

Jessica said...

I've been wanting to read this book but for some reason just haven't! I think I'm going to pick it up this weekend :)

Lucky in Love said...

Dude, speak to me or what? Seriously! Thanks for posting this :)

I love the "cover with love."

Holly said...

I really liked the movie; I really should get the book.
I know I will be convicted.

Country Dreaming said...

Lucy--

This is interesting "food for thought." I'm going to mull this over and come to a conclusion soon.

Thanks...

Melinda

Taryn said...

Hmm- I saw the movie- but never really thought much about the book. Good for you- I am glad that you shared this bit with us- good for me to think about.