Right now, I’m living it up as a SAHM mom to my babe. How long this will last is up in the air, but right now, it’s what I’m doing. For now, here’s our story.
In Canada, women are entitled to one year of paid maternity leave. However, apparently, one has to be working before giving birth in order to receive these benefits. Who made that rule?
Because I was in grad school full time, and only TAing part time when we were blessed with the greatest surprise of our life, I hadn’t worked enough hours to meet the cut off to be eligible for mat leave. So, that being said, while I’m on maternity leave right, I’m not really on maternity leave. I’m on self-appointed maternity leave, if you will. We decided despite the lack of maternity benefits, we felt it was best for me to stay home for at least the first year of Evalyn’s life and decided to make it happen. Shortly before she was born, Evan started a new job and this gave us a little bit of flexibility in that regard.
In January, I returned to work part time (very part time) as a teaching assistant at my university. I was responsible for two seminars. This meant one evening a week I was on campus leading seminars while I was able to do the majority of my other work from home. Between naptimes, bedtime, and Daddy time, it was more than manageable for me to put forth the effort and time necessary for the job. It gave us a little more wiggle room but was just temporary, as the semester ended shortly before Easter.
Until now, I have been making serious use of the denial mechanism when it comes to contemplating what I will be doing when her first year is up. You see, I have a heart to stay home with my baby/ies (because yes, there will be more). I have known since forever that I want to be a SAHM and the small taste of this role that I have had over the past 8ish months has instilled that even further. I believe that God has placed that desire on my heart for a reason and if it is what He wants for our life and for our family, it will work out. Somehow. Right now, though, I just can’t see how.
My plan is to apply for more TA positions in the fall and see, with a few more classes, if we can make it work. If not, I may be looking at finding full time employment – which is another battle in itself, since I have no job to return to. Secretly, I keep hoping that some amazingly flexible opportunity for me to work some and still be home most of the time will land in my lap. But? That is likely not going to happen.
So, friends. Will you pray for me? For us? That we will have the wisdom to make the best decision possible. And … that somehow, someway, the desires of my heart will come to fruition?