Thrifty Thursday - Homemade Dryer Sheets

Earlier this week, while doing laundry, I used my very last dryer sheet. I walked over to the fridge, pen in hand, to add dryer sheets to the grocery list when from no where, a magnificent thought crossed my mind. (Magnificent thoughts don't cross my mind very often so I have to get excited when they do). Are you thinking what I'm thinking? I feel a ThRiFtY tHuRsDaY coming on!

I seemed to remember some DIY laundry tips on Gayle's Grocery Cart Challenge so I headed back over to check it out. Sure enough, there was a link to laundry tips and there I found the instructions for making your own dryer sheets. You can click here to see her post.

So, I set out on a mission today. Here's what you need:


2 cups of water
1 cup vinegar
2/3 cup hair conditioner
A margarine container (or other comparable bucket type thingy)
A spoon (or whisk)
A rag (I'm suggesting one that's on the clean-ish side)

This is so simple. All you have to do is mix all the ingredients together and stir. Do not shake (I didn't try this because Gayle warned shaking would cause the mixture to foam). I used a whisk to stir it so that I could get the conditioner to break down and mix in. This caused a bit of foaming, hopefully not too much. After mixing it together, you just store it in a container with a rag and when you are doing laundry, you soak the rang, wring it out and put it in the dryer with your clothes. I won't be doing laundry again until Monday so I will update you next week as to how I think they are working out.

This is a very cost effective method. For me, it was basically free, I think. I used up a bottle of conditioner that has been in my cupboard since the Ice Age along with a few bottles of sample size conditioner that I have accumulated over time (HINT: STEALING FROM HOTELS WILL LOWER THE COST OF YOUR HOMEMADE DRYER SHEETS). As far as the vinegar is concerned, I'm assuming one cup costs about 17 cents (based on 2.99 for a gallon and one gallon = 16.65 cups). Okay, I could be way off on this ... maybe it's more like 19 cents?

Anyway, you get the point. It cost me less than 25 cents to make a batch of homemade dryer sheets. I am not sure how many loads this will do, but I will let you know once I have experimented and figured that out. Gayle also suggested that this mixture can be used as liquid fabric softener. I don't generally use fabric softener, but if I like the way this works, I just might start.

I'm so excited about this I just might go make some clothes dirty just so I can try it out. Happy Thrifty Thursday!

"I Wonder" Wednesday

I wonder why my fabulous dude and I thought it would be a good idea to eat an entire pan of rice krispie treats in one sitting. Better yet ... I wonder why I thought it was a good idea to make them in the first place? I'm not feeling so well this morning.


Join me for "I Wonder Wednesday" and let everyone know what are you wondering about today. Use Mr. Linky to join in.

Have fun linking up but please remember two things...

1.Link directly to your “I Wonder Wednesday” post so people will have no trouble finding it.
2.Include a link back here from your own blog.

Homebody's Giveaway!

In honour of her 50th post, Homebody Holly is offering a Christmas giveaway at her blog today. Head on over here and check out the beautiful Christmas tree picture frame ornament that she's giving away to one lucky winner. Enter your name to win (but if you enter the contest because you found out about her blog from me you and end up winning, you are required to give the gift to me!) Just kidding!

And yes, I'm not too proud to admit that I wrote this post in an effort to get my name entered in the draw for the ornament twice. Regardless of that, I do encourage you to check out Homebody Holly's blog on a regular basis. She posts about amazing decorating ideas, yummy recipes and some great money saving tips!

Thrifty Thursday - Double Sided

This week is another quick and easy way to be thrifty. I am very tired and overwhelmed with school work this week so I didn't have time to come up with an ingenious way to save money. I did think of something today, however, when I was working on one of my final papers for the term. Something I started doing a few years ago was to be very careful about what paper I did and didn't throw out. I have a drawer in the bottom of my desk that is full of computer paper that has something printed on only one side. This way, whenever I have to print something that isn't being handed in to a professor or isn't overly important, I just print it on the blank side of paper from the drawer. This works well for articles I have read, papers I need to edit and to-do lists (which I write endlessly).

I can't really do a cost comparison of this suggestion because it is so small and accumulates over time. But, I will say that I have only had to replenish my computer paper a total of 5 times over the past 2 years (and that includes printing three copies of my 110 page thesis). As far as time, it really don't make a difference. A few extra minutes to sort through papers in my binders at the end of the term to pick out the pieces that have a blank side and I'm all set.

This paper saving method is obviously an eco-friendly route as well. You get the most out of every sheet of paper and save the good, clean paper for the most important documents!

Have a thrifty Thursday!

From the Mouths of Babes

This afternoon I had the pleasure of spending a few hours with one of the sweetest little gals I know. I have to share a conversation we had because it was quite funny. She is four years old.

"What time will you have kids?" - Sunny

"Do you mean when am I going to have kids?" - Lucy

"Yes."- Sunny

"Well ... when do you think we should have kids?" - Lucy

"Soon. You should have kids before we don't have anymore kids." - Sunny

"Before who doesn't have anymore kids?" - Lucy

"Mom and Dad." - Sunny

I think she wants us to hurry up and have kids before all "her" kids are grown up! Too cute.

Check back later tonight for Thrifty Thursday.

4th Photo Tag

T, over at In The Potter's Hands tagged me for this post. You are supposed to post the 4th photo from your 4th photo file.

This is a bad picture of my fabulous dude and I from my graduation last June. It was taken outside of Brock University after the ceremony. Looks like he is trying to fix my cords and I am not too impressed. What a sweet guy to stick by me and support me through years and years and years and years and years and years and years of university!

I tag Caley, Evan, Katie, Emily and whoever else reads this blog. Be sure to leave a comment on this post so I know you did it.

Some Insight...

To gain a little insight on my "Would you rather..." poll this week along with a glimpse into some of the events that occurred at the party this weekend, you should hop over to my brother's blog and read this post! Get ready to laugh your socks off.

Happy Anniversary

This weekend, we celebrated my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary. Their anniversary was actually way back in August but because of scheduling and other events, now seemed the best time for the party.

On Saturday night, our family had the pleasure of eating at The Erie Beach Hotel. Let me tell you, this place has delicious food! All you can eat salads, celery bread and perch. Not to mention a full roast beef dinner. This was the first time our entire family has been together in a few years. And, with the new baby there as well it was a very special evening.

On Sunday afternoon, my mom and aunt worked hard to put together a lovely come and go tea for my grandparents. What a success! More than 100 people came to celebrate with our family and to give their best wishes to this lovely couple. The afternoon was filled with food, family and fellowship. It was amazing to witness and reconnect with such a large number of people who have been a part of my grandparents lives and, many, a part of mine as well.

Here's to Grandma and Grandpa - 50 years and counting!

Our family photo (minus my sister, her hubby and our nephew - they were there on Saturday night for dinner but had to leave before the party on Sunday)

Thrifty Thursday - What are YOU drinking?

I decided to keep my first Thrifty Thursday idea simple. This week's suggestion is something that many of you probably do already. While being in school, I used to always have a case of bottled water in the house to take with me during the day. This year I decided that enough was enough and I was no longer going to buy bottled water. I used to think that I was being thrifty by only buying bottled water when it was on sale and "stockpiling" it so I never had to buy it at regular price. But, hey, you save even more money if you don't buy it at all! So now I have this little guy...

Although the cost difference doesn't seem huge at first, it is saving me money to take water to school in a reusable water bottle. I was probably spending about $5.00 a month on bottled water which works out to about $60 a year. And one of these types of bottled water costs about $5-10 (or in my case, free thanks to my fabulous dude using his witty charm to get one for free from a coworker). So, sure not a huge deal... I'm saving about $50 per year. But I am also finding that by using this thermos I waste less. When I used water bottles I would always find partially empty water bottles in all sorts of places: the car, my bedside table, my school bag, my purse. By the time I found them again, I would have no idea how long they had sat there and so I'd dump them out. Now, when I get home from school, if there is any water left in the bottle (which there usually isn't, because I drink a lot of water) I pour it into a glass and finish drinking it throughout the evening. This encourages me to drink more water too, since this holds just under a litre. This is also obviously a more eco-friendly method because it minimizes the trash, although I am a crazy recycler so a plastic water bottle would never and I mean NEVER make its way to a garbage pail instead of a blue box.

As far as a time comparison, I know it's a bit of a stretch, but I am going to say that doing things this way does, in fact, save me some time. It just means one less trip to and from the car when unloading the groceries, since I'd have to go back out to get the case of water. It also takes me less time to grab the thermos from the cupboard and fill it with tap water (yes, I use tap water, I'm not entirely convinced bottled water is any better... I do have a Brita but I think I've changed the filter about twice ... ever) than it does to go into the cool room and get one out of the case. So, that means I save about 2.65 minutes per year. And in this busy life, every second counts. :) ... yeah, I know, it's a stretch.

I know that bottled water just makes more sense in some circumstances, so I'm not promising I will never buy or drink it again, I am just cutting it out of my everyday routine. Have a thrifty Thursday! See you next week.

Calling All Wives!

Attention! Ladies! Listen up! I have a crucially important public service announcement to make.

Ever wished your hubby would help out more around the house? Ever wondered if there was something, anything, you could do or say to get him to give you a hand?

Well, I'm pleased to inform you that after much planning, careful deliberation and strategic experimentation on my fabulous dude, I have generated a simple, fool proof method to solve this problem.

Yes, that's right. Three easy steps and your hubby will be cleaning.

Step #1. Offer no complaints when your husband deserts you for 18 days and many evenings in the span of two months to hunt wild beasts in the forest.

Step #2. Place a large smile on your face when he returns home after his second hunting trip and informs you that he has 30+ pounds of venison meat to grind ... on your kitchen counter.

Step #3. Join him in this 6.5 hour adventure of chopping, grinding, bagging and freezing while managing to control yourself and refrain from vomiting.

Can it be this simple, you ask? Does it really work, you wonder?

Witness Exhibit A. My fabulous dude scrubbing and disinfecting the entire kitchen, top to bottom, at 11:00 p.m.


Still don't believe me?

Witness Exhibit B. My clean kitchen after the meat grinding process was complete.

And as a further source of evidence, Exhibit C, the freezer full of meat.

As an added bonus, plan to complete this task over the course of dinner hour. Then your husband will have no choice but to entertain your desire to make a late night fast food trip since you are starving and the thought of cooking anything is making you sick, at this point. This step involves a bit more trickery than the other three as you must plan to start the process LATE enough so as to miss dinner and yet EARLY enough to be sure that the fast food establishment you wish to go to will not be closed by the time you arrive.

If you are not interested in this experiment, or your husband does not venture to the great outdoors as often as my fabulous dude, you can also try having a sewage backup in your septic system, causing poop water to invade your dining room, entryway and laundry room. In this form of the experiment, your husband will have no choice but to remove everything from these rooms and mop ALL the floors. However, some have said that this method is significantly more stinky and results in significantly less food in the freezer.

Yes, we had an eventful Sunday.

**Please note: Exhibit D (a photo of the counter during the process) and Exhibit E (a photo of the poop water floor) have been censored for public viewing.

Gotta Check This Out!

If you remember, back in September, I wrote about my BFF and her sister moving to a far away land for a year. Well, they have FINALLY decided to blog about it!! So head on over to Bringing the Highlands Home to read about their adventure of a lifetime.

Love Them Like Jesus

Sometimes when we have a loved one who finds them self in a difficult situation we feel the need to sort if out for them, to find the answers, to make everything okay. I am certainly guilty of this. Recently, I have been in the midst of more than one situation where I have witnessed dear friends hurting, making poor decisions, feeling tremendous pain and questioning God's sovereign power. I have found myself struggling to find the "right" words to make everything okay for them. Leave it to God to send me a reminder that perhaps this is the wrong goal. Maybe they don't need my profound wisdom, stunning guidance and fantastic advice. What do they need? They need love. They need Jesus. They need us to love them like Jesus.

I was driving in the rain the other day and was lifting up a dear friend in prayer. This Casting Crowns song came on the radio and I paused to hear what the Lord was telling me.

The love of her life is drifting away
They’re losing the fight for another day
The life that she’s known is falling apart
A fatherless home, a child’s broken heart
You’re holding her hand, you’re straining for words
You trying to make - sense of it all

She’s desperate for hope, darkness clouding her view
She’s looking to you
Just love her like Jesus, carry her to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don’t need the answers to all of life’s questions
Just know that He loves her and stay by her side
Love her like Jesus
Love her like Jesus

The gifts lie in wait, in a room painted blue
Little blessing from Heaven would be there soon
Hope fades in the night, blue skies turn to grey
As the little one slips away
You’re holding their hand, you’re straining for words
You’re trying to make sense of it all

They’re desperate for hope, darkness clouding their view
They’re looking to you
Just love them like Jesus, carry them to Him
His yoke is easy, His burden is light
You don’t need the answers to all of life’s questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus

Lord of all creation holds our lives in His hands
The God of all the nations holds our lives in His hands
The Rock of our salvation holds our lives in His hands
He cares for them just as He cares for you

So love them like Jesus, love them like Jesus
You don’t need the answers to all of life’s questions
Just know that He loves them and stay by their side
Love them like Jesus
Love them like Jesus

So how do I do this, God? How do I love them like Jesus? Here are some examples ...

"You have heard what it was said, 'Love your neighbour and hate your enemy. But I tell you: Love your enemy and pray for those who persecute you, that you may be sons of your Father in heaven. He causes his sun to rise on the evil and the good, and sends rain on the righteous and the unrighteous. If you love those who love you, what reward will you get?" - Matthew 5:43-46.

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you will be judged and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you." Matthew 7:1-2

"Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these". Matthew 19:14

"A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. 'Look after him,' he said, 'and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have." Luke 10:30-35

"But Jesus went to the Mount of Olives. At dawn he appeared again in the temple courts, where all the people gathered around him, and he sat down to teach them. The teachers of the law and the Pharisees brought in a woman caught in adultery. They made her stand before the group and said to Jesus, "Teacher, this woman was caught in the act of adultery. In the Law Moses commanded us to stone such women. Now what do you say?" They were using this question as a trap, in order to have a basis for accusing him. But Jesus bent down and started to write on the ground with his finger. When they kept on questioning him, he straightened up and said to them, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be the first to throw a stone at her." Again he stooped down and wrote on the ground. At this, those who heard began to go away one at a time, the older ones first, until only Jesus was left, with the woman still standing there. Jesus straightened up and asked her, "Woman, where are they? Has no one condemned you?" "No one, sir," she said. "Then neither do I condemn you," Jesus declared. "Go now and leave your life of sin." John 8: 1-11

"It was just before the Passover Feast. Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love. The evening meal was being served, and the devil had already prompted Judas Iscariot, son of Simon, to betray Jesus. Jesus knew that the Father had put all things under his power, and that he had come from God and was returning to God; so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples' feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.He came to Simon Peter, who said to him, "Lord, are you going to wash my feet?"Jesus replied, "You do not realize now what I am doing, but later you will understand." "No," said Peter, "you shall never wash my feet."Jesus answered, "Unless I wash you, you have no part with me." "Then, Lord," Simon Peter replied, "not just my feet but my hands and my head as well!"Jesus answered, "A person who has had a bath needs only to wash his feet; his whole body is clean. And you are clean, though not every one of you." For he knew who was going to betray him, and that was why he said not every one was clean. When he had finished washing their feet, he put on his clothes and returned to his place. "Do you understand what I have done for you?" he asked them. "You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him. Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them." John 13: 1-17

This is certainly not an exhaustive list of examples but it provides some examples of how Jesus demonstrated love in His life. Love them like Jesus.

Comments

I just realized as of today that my blog was set up so that only registered users could leave comments. I discovered this when someone who does not have a blog said they tried to comment and were not able to put in their name or be anonymous. I have changed this, so now anyone will be able to comment. Happy Weekend.

On another note ... I'm slightly disappointed in the results of my latest poll. I really thought that chocoholics were going to take over the earth. The "Only eat chocolate for the rest of your life" option was well in the lead for most of the week but in the last leg of the race, those anti-chocoholics came out from hiding and ended up winning. Too bad, no chocolate for them.

Thrifty Thursdays

I am going to try a new, and hopefully permanent, feature on my blog. Every Thursday I will write a post entitled "Thrifty Thursday". In these posts, I will give tips and suggestions for ways to save money and be thrifty. Some weeks, the tips will be simple, common-sense ideas that most of you probably already do. Other weeks, the tips will be a little more extreme and may require some effort. These ideas will be cheap meals and other great deals (Thanks for the tagline, Kei!)

So, before I start, I have a few words about my goals for this feature.

When we first got married, I was often embarrassed to talk about ways I had found to save money and be thrifty because my pride got in the way. I didn't want people to know that I had to be thrifty to make ends meet as a newlywed and full time student. Now, it is the complete opposite. My pride gets in the way and I want to brag about how I am thrifty because I get so excited when I find a new way to make our money go further! :) With that in mind, I do not want to give the impression that I have a "thriftier than thou" attitude. I am certainly not the queen of all thriftiness. I have much to learn. I buy on impulse a lot, I give in to temptations a lot and I enjoy convenience products a lot. My hope through this feature is not only that I will be able to give my readers a weekly set of tips, but that I will become more frugal and thrifty through the process because I will be searching for new and creative ideas all the time. Really, I have a feeling this blog will help me more than any of you.

Each week I will try to give a cost comparison and time comparison where appropriate. I will also give an eco comparison if eco-friendliness relates to the idea. Not all weeks will lend themselves to these comparisons, but some of the ideas I have in mind will because they are comparisons between DIY (do-it-yourself) products and store bought products.

Lastly, I have to mention that there are a few unique components of my life that may make it easier (or maybe just different) for me to do these things:

1. I do not have kids yet. I think many of the people who read this blog already have children and so that being the case, it is possible that I might have more time and accessibility for some of these ideas. This also means that I do not have as many mouths to feed, people to cloth and things to clean. I just have one hungry husband and myself.

2. I do not have a full-time job, per say. Although I am a full time graduate student, the majority of my work is done at home. I only have class for a few hours per week. Therefore, I am at home enough to do things that may take a bit more time.

The reason I point out these factors is that I do not want to imply that the ideas that work for me and my family will work for everyone. Something that I suggest may seem completely unrealistic to you based on your schedule and interests and that is fine. On the flip side, something you do to save money may be completely out of the question for me. Each family is different so you have to find what works for you.

I am not going to post an idea this week - I just wanted to see if I could get you hooked. Check back next week for my first Thrifty Thursday suggestion.

Looks a Little Like This...

My next month looks a little like this:

• Mark 35 papers
• Mark 35 online forums
• Supervise exam
  
• Mark 35 exams
• Mark 2 presentations
• Calculate final forum grades for 35 students
• Calculate final seminar grades for 35 students
  
• Prepare and deliver 2 presentations
• Write a critical book review
  
• Write and deliver conference paper and presentation
• Formulate thesis proposal

My brain feels a little like this:

Interestingly enough, this picture came from a website entitled "Left-Handers Face Some Unusual Problems". That we do, that we do. Maybe some of those unusual problems would make for an interesting post in the future?

Frazzle, dazzle.

New Layout

My bro made this "special" header for my blog. He clearly picked the most flattering picture he possibly could to put on it. I don't think it will be staying for too long ...

The Marriage Shoes

Believe it or not (hint of sarcasm), I often get responses of shock and bewilderment when people discover that I'm married. This bewilderment often increases when they realize that I am not a "fresh" newlywed. (I know being married for 2 1/4 years doesn't exactly make me a seasoned pro, but most people assume that I just got married). Most commonly, I get these sorts of responses when I meet people at school. It's not that I am surprised to get such responses, I do realize that being 22 and married for over two years does serve to exclude me from the norm. But, what I do find interesting in these responses are the underlying beliefs about marriage that are sometimes revealed.

One thing I find interesting is that as soon as a classmate, student or professor realizes that I am married (and have been for two years) the first question they ask is, "do you mind if I ask how old you are?" Hmm, I thought that it was socially inappropriate to ask a woman how old she is? Apparently this rule is void when you come in contact with someone who looks far too young, yet still claims to be married. I think most people ask me this because I do not look old for my age. I have always looked a fair bit younger than I actually am. So then, when people find out that I am married and think I look too young, they sometimes think that I must be far older than I look. As well, in university you can never safely guess how old someone is based on their year of study because many people have taken time off school, come back for a second degree or switched programs part way through their academic career. I love the look of surprise when they discover that, no, I am not really that much older than I look but that I just got married young. One time, I actually told someone that I was 33 when they asked me this question just to make them feel uncomfortable for asking. :)

I also think it's amusing when people ask me what it's like to be married while I'm in school. I understand why people ask (like I said before, I know it's not the norm) but I think it's interesting because I don't really have an answer. I usually respond by saying, "I don't know. What's it like to not be married while you're in school?" Now that I am married, and have been for a few years, I only know my life in terms of my marriage. I can no longer separate myself from my marriage. My lived reality revolves around being married. That being said, I cannot say what it's like to be married and be a student because that is just how it is. I know nothing else now.

Once again, I am not suggesting that I find it peculiar that people are surprised that I am married. I spend most of my time with other university students, most of whom are not married or even thinking of marriage and many of whom are not Christians. What I do find surprising is the extent to which people feel like they can ask me quite strange questions just because I am married. For example, some of the most common ... How do you manage your finances being married so young? Did your parents get mad when you decided to get married? Were you pregnant when you got married? Why didn't you just live together for a while first? In my opinion, most of these questions are probably considered inappropriate to ask to someone who you barely know, however, you'd be surprised how many times I'm asked.

The reason for this post is a comment that was made to me by one of my student's in the course that I am a teaching assistant for. It happened a few weeks ago in class and has been on my mind since then. During class, one young woman must have caught a glimpse of my wedding ring. This is usually the way people come to find out I am married, since I stopped wearing a sign that says "I'm married" a few months ago when I got tired of the questioning :). During a small group exercise, when her group was finished discussing the issue that was assigned, she leaned over to me and said "Are you married?". "Yes, I am", I replied. And her response ... "Oh that's SO cute!" Cute? That's so cute? I'm married, and that's cute? She could have told me my new haircut was cute, or my shoes, or my purse. But, my marriage? Let me be honest, sometimes my marriage is anything but cute. Regardless of it's cuteness or lack thereof, the way she described my being married as SO cute it made it seem as though it was a new, trendy accessory that I was trying on.

This comment got me to thinking about how marriage is viewed and handled in popular culture and society today. For many, marriage is viewed as an accessory, if you will, that you can put on when it's in style and as soon as it's no longer trendy, you can leave it in the dust. You can try on marriage and if the shoe doesn't fit just right, hey, no big deal, you can get a new pair. We see this in "5 minute celebrity marriages" all the time. Marriage is no longer viewed as a sacred gift from God or a lifelong commitment.

Many people don't realize that I did not get married so I could wear a beautiful dress, get a load of gifts, and have a piece of nice looking insanely good looking eye candy on my arm. Rather, I got married because Evan and I made a decision to love, honour and commit to each other for life. Not until we get bored, not until something better comes along, not until the shoe no longer fits, but for life. We both highly value marriage and family and thus, getting married young was the right choice for us.

Marriage is not a cute new pair of shoes. It is not a style, a fashion, a trend or an accessory, it is a commitment that should be honoured.

Disclaimer: this post is not meant to be disrespectful to the young woman who made the comment. In fact, she is a very bright, kind young woman who also happens to be a Christian. I cannot say how much or little she values marriage. I am sure she meant no harm from the comment. Rather, I am using this comment as an example to demonstrate the way I think our culture devalues marriage.