What Do You Do When You Are Due

What do you do when you get to Friday September 17th, your due date and you have not had a baby yet?

Well, it's obvious, you fill your weekend right up!

First, you go out for dinner to the local pub with your baby's Aunties where you order the nightly special in hopes that the chef will have placed some special ingredient in it that will induce labor.

When that doesn't work, you go hang out with your BFF for the evening, eat a DQ blizzard, and watch a funny movie.

Then the next morning when your Dude goes into work for a few hours, you putter around the house, doing some cleaning, making some phone calls and tidying up. Then you go for a walk with your dog and come back to have a rest.

When your Dude gets home, the two of you get busy. (Ahem, not in that way, sickos). You begin the process of canning the bazillion pears that were so generously given to you by your Dude's co-worker's father.

You can 7 litres and 12 pints of pears and still have half of them left to eat and bake with.

Then you make yourself presentable while your Dude so kindly offers to clean up the kitchen after the pear canning expedition. You spend a few hours with your friends and then decide that since the Friday night special at the local pub did not do the trick the night before, you might as well head there again and try something else.

You head back to the local pub with some of your favorite people in the world (where you may be served by the same waitress) for the second night in a row. Decide to stick to your old faithful - fish and chips - in hopes that the familiarity will encourage baby.

After dinner, you head back to your house and allow yourself to be pampered by two of the world's greatest girlfriends as they offer to rub your back and feet for two hours straight. (Yes, I've got good friends).

You try to discourage them from taking a picture of the event, knowing that it will come back to haunt you in the future when they are pregnant and say "remember that time I rubbed your feet for two hours the day after your due date...."

Crawl in bed and fall asleep wondering if "tonight is the night".

On Sunday morning, you can wake up to get ready for church and contemplate wearing a fake mustache, dark sunglasses and top hat as a disguise so people won't know it's you ... still pregnant.

You decide against wearing a disguise.

Head to church and worship with your church family, while also politely navigating all of the "are you ever going to have your baby questions?"

Come home, eat lunch and hit the sack.

Then you sleep away the afternoon while your Dude heads to work again for a few more hours. Realize that you must have really needed some rest because you didn't even wake up when your friends stopped by and came into the house to drop some things off.

When you wake up, you can do the dishes, bake some bread, and get ready to head to the grocery store.

When your Dude gets home from work, you can drag him to the grocery store with you, pick up something for dinner, and then head home to veg for the evening.

Have a bath and call it an early night.

Tuck yourself into bed, again wondering, "is tonight the night".

As you fall asleep, you hve a chat with your little Skeezix about "the plan".

Then, you wake up on Monday morning, feeling refreshed and confident that you will (hopefully) have a baby this week!

That is what you do when you are due.