Monday, September 20, 2010

What Do You Do When You Are Due

What do you do when you get to Friday September 17th, your due date and you have not had a baby yet?

Well, it's obvious, you fill your weekend right up!

First, you go out for dinner to the local pub with your baby's Aunties where you order the nightly special in hopes that the chef will have placed some special ingredient in it that will induce labor.

When that doesn't work, you go hang out with your BFF for the evening, eat a DQ blizzard, and watch a funny movie.

Then the next morning when your Dude goes into work for a few hours, you putter around the house, doing some cleaning, making some phone calls and tidying up. Then you go for a walk with your dog and come back to have a rest.

When your Dude gets home, the two of you get busy. (Ahem, not in that way, sickos). You begin the process of canning the bazillion pears that were so generously given to you by your Dude's co-worker's father.

You can 7 litres and 12 pints of pears and still have half of them left to eat and bake with.

Then you make yourself presentable while your Dude so kindly offers to clean up the kitchen after the pear canning expedition. You spend a few hours with your friends and then decide that since the Friday night special at the local pub did not do the trick the night before, you might as well head there again and try something else.

You head back to the local pub with some of your favorite people in the world (where you may be served by the same waitress) for the second night in a row. Decide to stick to your old faithful - fish and chips - in hopes that the familiarity will encourage baby.

After dinner, you head back to your house and allow yourself to be pampered by two of the world's greatest girlfriends as they offer to rub your back and feet for two hours straight. (Yes, I've got good friends).

You try to discourage them from taking a picture of the event, knowing that it will come back to haunt you in the future when they are pregnant and say "remember that time I rubbed your feet for two hours the day after your due date...."

Crawl in bed and fall asleep wondering if "tonight is the night".

On Sunday morning, you can wake up to get ready for church and contemplate wearing a fake mustache, dark sunglasses and top hat as a disguise so people won't know it's you ... still pregnant.

You decide against wearing a disguise.

Head to church and worship with your church family, while also politely navigating all of the "are you ever going to have your baby questions?"

Come home, eat lunch and hit the sack.

Then you sleep away the afternoon while your Dude heads to work again for a few more hours. Realize that you must have really needed some rest because you didn't even wake up when your friends stopped by and came into the house to drop some things off.

When you wake up, you can do the dishes, bake some bread, and get ready to head to the grocery store.

When your Dude gets home from work, you can drag him to the grocery store with you, pick up something for dinner, and then head home to veg for the evening.

Have a bath and call it an early night.

Tuck yourself into bed, again wondering, "is tonight the night".

As you fall asleep, you hve a chat with your little Skeezix about "the plan".

Then, you wake up on Monday morning, feeling refreshed and confident that you will (hopefully) have a baby this week!

That is what you do when you are due.

15 comments:

Holly said...

When's the full moon? I hear there are more babies born on full moons...

Sarah said...

I am pretty sure I did most of the same things you did. The only thing I did not do to induce labor was eat Egg Plant Parmesan (which has put THREE of my friends in labor within 6 hours of eating it) or castor oil. Yuck. good luck!

Lucky in Love said...

I can't believe Fish and Chips didn't do the trick??? I'm telling you. Babes is waiting until Wednesday, my anniversary, so I will never forget his/her birthday :) XOXO

Elizabeth said...

Do I need to suggest the chunky monkey again? Hehehe. Keep her baking for a little while longer! These posts are entertaining :oP

This Texas Momma said...

You will! You will! I know you will!

Jackie said...

Hang in there....I've been waiting anxiously too--as if that helps. I keep checking your blog, waiting for the "Welcome Baby" post. I am sure it will happen soon. And take lots of naps like you've been doing. :)

Emily said...

Oh goodness girl! I truly feel for you. You should have just scheduled that induction long time ago and the little monkey would be here already. Just kidding.. I hope he/she hurry's it up so you can be done with being pregnant!

Praying for you!

Tricia said...

:)

Gina said...

Can I borrow your friends?

And you SHOULD get busy in "that way." I swear it works.

I'm betting on Wednesday.

bcsmithereens said...

My first child was born 2 1/2 weeks after my due date. He's now 20, and supposedly moving out this week.

Just be patient. The little Monkey will make his/her appearance just when God wants him/her to.

Thinking of you!

Brittany Ann said...

I'm not gonna lie. I've nervously started stalking your Blog/Tweet/FB. I don't want to keep bugging you, so I'm just waiting and watching...hoping you go into labor soon. I don't want to miss it!

Vee said...

Um, can I borrow your friends when I'm due?!?

Come on baby...Get here faster! =]

Mrs Anne said...

i'm on PINS and NEEDLES for you!!!
i was two days overdue... and it was worth every single second of my 22 hr labor...

can't wait to see your "the baby's here" post!

:)

SnoWhite said...

I bet you're going to have a fall baby! Just because you love fall so much :)

Samantha said...

Bless your heart. I wish I had something better to say, but I don't. Bless your poor poor heart.