Thou Shalt Not Say: Part One

I am beginning to think that my husband's sole purpose on this earth is to serve as an example to other husbands and fathers-to-be. Over the past few weeks, I have begun to accumulate a collection of phrases and comments that he has made to me. And as such, I have decided I should write a book. I am here today to share with you the beginnings of this book.

"Thou Shalt Not Say: Comments a Husband Should NOT Say to His Expectant Wife"

"Why are you wearing your tiny underwear today?"
(When, in fact, said underwear are no tinier than they ever have been, but perhaps, what is in said underwear is, um, a bit larger than usual.)

"Hm, see those boobs? Yeah, they need to get bigger. They need to keep up with that big belly of yours."

"You're looking rather chubby today."

"You are the biggest pregnant girl I have ever seen."
(Please tell me this is not true. My goodness, I am only 16 weeks! I am going to assume he meant the biggest pregnant girl he has ever seen without clothes on.)

As he strokes the side of my face, "I see you're getting a bit more hair on there now."

"You don't have acne, it's just a few pimples ... on your face."

As time progresses, I am sure I will be able to continually to add to the list. In fact, if he keeps up at the rate he's going, I might be able to make this "Thou Shalt Not" business a weekly feature.

Oh dear, let's hope not.