Regardless, here are a few gems that have sprung forth from the mouth of my husband over the past little while.
As we're arguing about who should and should not have a bedtime snack...
Me: "Give me a break! I'm eating for two".
Him: (As he pats my bum) "Looks to me like you're eating for a lot more than that."
As I am looking in the mirror examining the new found stretch marks on my thighs...
Me: "Ugh. Are my thighs starting to look really fat?
Him: - Long pause - "You haven't been getting out walking as much lately, eh?"
As we're driving home from our last prenatal class...
Me: "So, have you started to think about what you're going to get me as a push present?"
Him: "I gave you the present when I put that baby in you. But, actually, I think I will get you some pads that cover you from arsehole to breakfast".
**Here he was referring to the maternity sized sanitary napkins that our prenatal instructor suggesting we stock up on for the first few weeks postpartum. And, he also claims that "from arsehole to breakfast" is an actual expression. I don't believe him.
As he comes home one day to find that I'm wearing a non maternity camisole because my maternity camis are all in the wash. In fact, the non maternity cami I was wearing was one of my longest ones pre-pregnancy. He takes one look at me.
Him: "Why are you wearing that shirt? You're going to stretch it to pieces."
As I put on one of my favorite nighties, that has three buttons down the front ...
Him: "That's a great nightie. It's going to make a perfect milkin' shirt when the baby comes."
As we were going to bed one night, I was trying to convince him that we should start trying to get used to sleeping on the opposite sides of the bed, because his side is closer to the baby's room and where the bassinet will be in our room and I think it will be easier for me to get up in the night without having to crawl around him every time. So, I finally convinced him, and we tried laying down on opposite sides of the bed than normal.
Him: "You're going to be sorry you did this."
Him: "Because if we switch sides like this for good, I'm never going to get up in the night with the baby. You are going to have to get up every time."
Me: "Well, I'm sure that's the way it's going to go anyway. Unless you're going to breastfeed the child."
Him: "Well, I was planning on it. But now that you've done this, I'm not even going to try."
Thank you, my dear Fabulous Dude, for ensuring that I never take life too seriously.