Sometimes I Get Tired

Sometimes I get tired.

Sometimes I get tired of freezing my hands off from digging through the freezer to find the cherries I need to bake muffins, only to discover that I dug out sour cherries, when I needed sweet cherries, and have to go digging again.

Sometimes I get tired of having to walk out to the barn in the rain to get shredded zucchini from our "overflow freezer".

Sometimes I get tired of picking up the fabulous dude's dirty clothes, of putting them in the hamper, of washing them, of drying them, of folding them and then of doing it all over again.

Sometimes I get tired of menu planning, grocery shopping and cooking week after week.

Sometimes I get tired of taking 10 minutes out of a busy day to process the stale bread crusts to make bread crumbs.

Sometimes I get tired of working on my thesis day after day.

Sometimes I get tired of wiping up muddy paw prints off the floor.

Sometimes I get tired of life.

But then I stop to think.

And I realize how blessed I am to have such a vast assortment of chicken, pork, venison, shrimp, fish, fruit, vegetables and baked goods in the freezer that I literally have to dig to find what I need.

I become aware of how spoiled we are that we needed to make use of the extra freezer in the barn at the end of the summer because we couldn't fit everything we have into our regular freezer.

I think about how blessed I am to have a husband to pick up after, clothes to wear, and a washing machine and dryer that were given to us for free.

I think of how incredible it is that we have the means to eat new meals each week and how blessed we are to have enough food in our home that we could eat for weeks without buying a single item.

I consider how abundant our blessings are that we have enough bread that we can afford to let the crusts go stale to become bread crumbs.

I remember that the privilege I have to become educated is one that many do not have.

I think about how comforting it was when Nika cuddled up with me to have a nap when I wasn't feeling good, and when she came to check if I was alright when I burnt my hand with boiling water (even though I'm pretty sure she was trying to see if any ribs fell out of the pot). And I think about how nice it was when she licked the brown sugar I spilled off the floor so I didn't have to sweep.

I realize that I take for granted that I am healthy and blessed beyond compare.

And then I am no longer tired.

Then, I am ashamed for ever being tired.

Then, I realize how selfish I am.

Then, I am humbled.

Then, I am grateful.