A month of Gwen

Dear Gwen,

One month. Today you are one month old. And I won’t even apologize for going on and on about how I can’t believe that an entire month past because I have long since learned that all of those clichés about motherhood? They are all true. Every single one of them. The day I first saw your face will be forever embedded in my heart as one of the happiest moments of my life.

Here’s how you’ve changed this month:

I am in a state of feeling very conflicted these days. From the moment you were born, I knew you would be six weeks old when we moved to the new house. So now, as that day approaches, I am torn. I cannot wait to move and get settled in that house and get to work on making it our home. Yet, at the same time, the sooner that day comes, the sooner the first six weeks of your life will have passed. And I just do not want to wish these early days away. I do not.

This month has been wild and crazy and fast. For the first week, Nana K was here with us, helping Mama survive the beginnings of 2U2. Then, Nana C was here for 5 days, left for a weekend and came back for another 5 days. Let me tell you, girl, we are forever grateful for that time with them. Without that time, I’m not sure you and I could have bonded the way we were able to as the Nana’s were able to keep your big sister entertained a great deal of the time.

We started you in cloth diapers at around one week of age, just after your cord fell off at six days old. Your little (or should I say big?) booty looks so hilarious in them. I forgot how silly they look on a tiny baby.

Your neck is getting very strong and you are always pulling back to try to look around at everyone and everything around you. You are curious, it seems, and already gawk around while nursing instead of just getting down to business.

You started smiling at three weeks. Again, how that tore my heart up. Of course, nothing is more precious to my eyes than seeing your sweet face light up in a big goofy grin yet at the same time, when I saw that first undeniably real smile, I thought to myself, Slow down sweet girl, you’re going too fast.

You love your big sister so completely. When she talks, you crane your neck and smile. She doesn’t have to work very hard to get you coo’ing and smiling back at her. It is obvious the two of you have already started forming a bond. Seeing this develop is just the sweetest thing.

You are a dream baby. You eat well. You are usually quite content. You sleep (more than) well. I’m still afraid to talk about your sleep for fear of jinxing it. But, let’s just say, there aren’t very many mornings where Mama wakes up feeling too exhausted. Between 3 and 4 weeks you suddenly woke up and decided not to be a sleepy, will sleep anywhere at anytime newborn anymore. Thankfully, you have mostly continued with your excellent night time sleep but naps have started to become more difficult. Mommy often has to rock you and rock you and then make sure you are good and asleep before I lay you down. Sometimes, you will fall into a deep sleep after nursing and have a good nap. For the most part, you tend to have big long stretches of awake time (up to 4-5 hours sometimes) before crashing for a long, steady sleep. Many days you end up snoozing away the entire afternoon, just waking to eat before cozying back up to sleep. All in all, you’re doing just fine.

You love to be worn in the Moby or the Mei Tei. Mostly, you just love to be close to your Mommy. We just got our Ergo yesterday and I have a feeling we’ll spend a lot of time in there – especially over the next few weeks as we finish packing the apartment and get to work on unpacking at the house.

I don’t know how much you weigh at one month because we don’t have an appointment. I’ll have to wait until 6 weeks. But, little girl, I don’t think we need to worry. You are chubby and healthy and doing so well. You like riding in the car but it is rare that you’ll fall asleep in there. You’ve stayed awake in the car, content, for up to an hour at a time. Crazy lady! If you do fall asleep in the car, you often wake up as soon as we stop. Hm, I guess I don’t foresee many 3 am car rides to get you to sleep. You are also starting to like your soosie more and more each day. I promised myself I wouldn’t give you one, since we had so much trouble with your Big Sister when she’d wake up 300 times a night looking for it. But? What can I say? It works and you like it.

You have filled our lives and hearts with joy, sweet Gwennie Girl. You have made Mommy and Daddy fall in love with you so entirely. You have made Evalyn into a Big Sister. You are so much a part of us, I can’t even describe it.

My prayer for you is that you will always know the depth of the love I have for you. Life is busy and demanding but I am doing my best to cherish each of your tiny moments.

I love you beyond words,

Momma.