I Finally Did It

Friends. I am proud of myself. Very proud. Because, after 40 weeks and 5 days of pregnancy with Evalyn and 39 weeks of pregnancy with Baby #2, I finally walked away from an interaction with a “witty” stranger feeling like I had formulated a good comeback instead of walking away and thinking of a million things I should have said.

Like the time when I was 8 months pregnant with Evalyn, carrying a basket in the grocery store and an old lady told me if I wanted to make good decisions and take care of my baby I should push a cart. Or the time a lady in the grocery store told me that giving my child crackers at 4 pm would ruin her supper. Or the time when the young man at the concession stand laughed about how ironic it was that I was going to see What To Expect When You’re Expecting. Or the time when the lady rubbed my belly and told me that my child was most definitely transverse.

It always seems the crazies come out when it’s time to talk about pregnancy or child rearing, no?

Well, last night I finally managed to walk away from the conversation with my head held high.

I had to run to the pharmacy to grab a few things. Of course, by the time I got to the counter, my few things had turned into a few things plus a bag of kettle chips and a Pepsi.

An older, grandfatherly type was ahead of me in line, buying his lotto tickets and hoping to win the big bucks. As we were standing there, he turned to me, rubbed his big ol’ pot belly and said, “Looks like I’ve just about caught up to you” with a smile.

Of course, his comment wasn’t rude or inappropriate or disrespectful. He was just being friendly. But, suddenly, from somewhere deep inside me, an ounce of wit decided to pop up and, without a moment’s hesitation, I said back, “Yeah. Almost. Only difference is I am planning for mine to be gone next week and I’m willing to bet money that yours won’t be”.

Thankfully, Old Grandpa wasn’t offended by my comment but just laughed and agreed with me. He wished me luck with my baby and headed off on his way.

And I snickered. And felt proud of myself. Now I could safely be done being pregnant and feel complete.