The First Day

Today is the day.

The first day.

The first day of "reality" for Eva and I.

Today marks the official beginning of my life as a Mommy without live in help.

When Eva was born, my mother was by my side. And there she stayed for the next week.

Her presence here during Evalyn's first week of life was something that I would not trade for anything. Not only did I benefit from the wonderful help she provided to me but I think that both she and Eva benefited as well - as they were able to begin to form a bond that will last for years and years to come. Eva loves her Nana. And her Nana loves her.

On day 7 of Eva's life, my Dad arrived around 7 pm to pick my mom up and take her home. I think I hugged her goodbye 75 times, hoping that maybe each hug would make her stay a second longer. I bawled as she left. And I spent the rest of the evening bawling, telling the Dude that I did not know how I would do it without her.

Eva and I then spent day 8 and 9 alone, but we had visitors who came in and helped out a bit, and Daddy came home for lunch both days. And, I knew "the help" was not quite done yet.

Then on Day 10, The Dude's Mom came back (she was here to visit a few hours after she was born, too) to stay for the week.

She spent the next six days with us, cooking, cleaning, doing laundry, sewing, and snuggling the wee babe.

And then Friday afternoon rolled around and it was time for her to go.

And again, I spent some time in tears.

But, I didn't let the tears stick around.

I fed my baby.

I took her out for a walk.

I put her down for a nap and I laid beside her and caught some zzz's myself.

Then I got up and we waited for a friend to come visit.

Then I put a lasagna that MIL had made in the oven.

And I watched Glee as I fed her again.

And then Daddy came home.

And then I realized that this is our new normal.

Over the weekend, Daddy was home most of the time so there were still an extra pair of hands.

And twice this week, I have supper being brought in by friend's from church.

So, there is still help.

But, our new normal has begun.

And as much as I would not give up having my mom and mother in law here to help over the first two weeks, I now feel ready. In fact, it is only because of them that I feel ready.

I feel ready to figure out exactly how we function as a family of four (yes, Nika is still part of our family, despite the lack of attention she's received lately).

I feel ready to figure out exactly how to care for this sweet baby and somehow manage to get something ready for dinner this evening.

I feel ready to figure out if it's possible to still shower on a daily basis.

I feel ready to learn how to do this Mama thing on my own.