Monday, September 6, 2010

A Different Kind of Birthday

On Saturday, I celebrated my 24th birthday. This year's birthday was a different kind of birthday. Most years, as my family will attest to, I talk about my birthday for weeks (perhaps even months) before its arrival. I usually have a list of gifts I want, foods I would like to eat and activities I would like to do.

This year, however, something was different.

I didn't think about my birthday a whole lot.

I'm too busy thinking about someone else's birthday.

In fact, the Dude and I went to my hometown on Friday night to Saturday night to spend my birthday with my entire family and when I woke up Saturday morning it took me a while to even remember it was my birthday. It wasn't until Nana whispered something to Little H and he walked over to me and said something about "Birthday. Candles. Happy." that I remembered.

Historically, I have been known for nagging the Dude about my birthday for months in advance. The reason for this is because birthdays were not a big deal in his family but they were in mine. And, thus far, we have not found a happy medium. This year, in order to deter me from nagging him, he made a deal with me about a month ago that he would spend $100 on my birthday gift but every time I mentioned anything about it, he would knock $10 off. Totally unfair, right? Anyhow, I didn't talk about my birthday at all for the month - again, not necessarily because of his redonkulus deal, but more because I just wasn't even thinking about it. But, um, I think his deal was pointless anyway, since he didn't have a gift for me on Saturday. Way to go Dude.

I know that this year's birthday will be the last of its kind. From here on in, I will have a little person to think about on my birthday, as well. I can tell from the way I felt about my birthday this year, that things are changing - my identity is changing. It's not just about me anymore. It's about my baby. And that's okay. It will be fun to share a birthday month and I am looking forward to celebrating my 25th and my baby's 1st birthday next year. And maybe, just maybe, the Dude will even get me a gift.

***Update: Since I posted this this morning, I have recieved a number of hurtful comments (which have been deleted). You should know that the Dude's idea to knock $10 off my gift every time I mentioned it was a silly joke - it has nothing to do with his character or the quality of our marriage. And, he did not let my birthday go by unnoticed. He wanted to give me the choice of buying a GPS for our car or going shopping together post-baby for some new items for my wardrobe. If you read this post and got the impression that the Dude mistreats me, you obviously don't read my blog enough to know my writing style, humor, or the type of relationship we have. Maybe I should also let you know that one year for his birthday, I gave him a crepe pan (and nothing else) simply so that he could make crepes for me and my BFF. Do you think he should leave me because of that, too? If you are only here to search for ways to leave comments that are rude, disrespectful, and offensive to myself, my marriage, my husband, and my family, please don't bother coming back. A simple Happy Birthday would have sufficed.

26 comments:

Elizabeth said...

Aw, you made me weepy. I just love the shift in gravity once you become a mom :o)

Gina said...

I hear you...although I do still loooove my birthday. ;)

This Texas Momma said...

No present! Come on E! He better have a really nice push present waiting in the wings then. ;) Birthday's totally changed for me too. All of the sudden I realized that it wasn't just about me, I realized how special it is for my mom too. My birthday markes the day she became a mother. It's almost like that first child's birthday is your true Mother's Day. Luke was born 2 weeks after my birthday, so I totally get you!

Nicole said...

My birthday is exactly one week before my youngest child. The week before her birth, on my birthday, all I could think about was her. My birthday just doesn't matter anymore. I am always so excited for hers, celebrating every milestone!

Jackie said...

Babies definitely change your perspective on everything. Birthdays, anniversaries, Christmas, you name it, it's now all about them. :)

Holly said...

Okay, he better have a really good new mama present for you! However, I hate to tell you this, but if he isn't a good gift giver already, in my experience it's hard to make him that way. Plus, if one tells one's husband what to get one, it just doesn't have the same "wow" factor. Theoretically.

Holly said...

I meant to say Happy Birthday!

bcsmithereens said...

Happy Birthday Lucy! Thinking of you often!

abi said...

haha - your husband and your views on birthdays sound the same as ours. My husband just doesn't think they're a big deal either and I do - we're still working on a happy medium too. He tries, but I think I still get disappointed too much. Oh well....I'm working on him getting me pregnant for my birthday present this year, so maybe that will help! haha! Happy Belated Birthday!

Amy Vine said...

Happy Birthday! Wee Hannah was born three days after my birthday. All I wanted for my birthday was to NOT have a baby on it. Labour on my birthday didn't sound fun.
Isn't it neat to see how your perspective changes about life once you have a child to think about? You're totally right, it's not about you anymore. I think it's fantastic that you have enough insight to know that even before your babe has made it's arrival. Some people never get that. Congratulations, can't wait to meet him/her :)

Kristina said...

Happy Birthday! I'm the same way you are. My family made (and still makes) a huge deal out of birthdays and my husband has the hardest time understanding this. :)

Rachael said...

Happy Birthday!! My husband and I never make a huge deal out of birthday gifts. It's more about the time we spend together and CAKE! :)

Vee said...

It's amazing how perspectives change as your family changes. This year, all I wanted for my birthday was a family day - go to the Zoo, hang out at the Mall together, whatever. As long as I'm with the people I love the most, that's the best birthday.

Hoping that sweet baby will give you a belated birthday present soon! =]

Samantha said...

Haaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaappy Birthday pal!! Hope your day was great!

Susan said...

I can not for the life of me think why someone would leave you hurtful comments. You don't deserve that. I hope you were able to have a happy birthday despite those comments.
~Sue
http://armylifeadventures.blogspot.com

Lisa said...

It was Shaina, wasn't it? She can be such a wonker sometimes.

Happy Belated Birthday!

Taryn said...

Sorry about the hurtful comments babe.

Happy birthday!

(P.S. if it makes you feel better- I told chris exactly what I wanted (weeks in advance) and he ran to walmart the morning of to get it for me. if that isn't romance I don't know what is.)

But Happy Birthday a million time over!

Kelly said...

Happy Belated Birthday. I'm glad you added your 'update' to those that needed it. Very true what you said about reading your blog. If they followed you...they would know! You and your stories about your FD have me hooked!! I giggle with each story you tell of him and your unconditional love shows through. I have had quite a few more birthdays then you and the thing that makes me smile the most is my husband of 31 yrs saying it to me first. A phone call/email/facebook note from family and friends tops off my day. Birthdays are special....just in a different way as we age. Here's to many more wonderful birthdays you will have!

Jessica said...

Happy Belated Birthday!

Sorry to hear about the hurtful comments! Some people always have an opinion they think needs to be shared.

Meg said...

I'm a day late, but Happy Birthday, Luc! :) Hope you had a great day.

Emily said...

I hope you had a great birthday! Sorry I am late.... just seen the comment about others who left rude comments and I am sorry they did that. How awful that someone would do that. Your husband sounds like mine in so many ways. My husband loves to pick on me and make fun of things, but he is always joking and is never mean!

You are SO close to seeing that little one.... I think you are going to have a boy or a girl!! LOL! I can't wait to find out and see pictures!!!! Good luck my dear!

d.a.r. said...

Wow, people are assholes, I am so sorry for (1) using mean language on your blog and (2) that they were mean to you. Ugh!

I thought your story was funny, for what it's worth :) That is so something Z would do, haha! He would probably threaten me with a time out, though, haha. I am SO mature :) Then again, I hate surprises so so so much that I gave away the ending to a book to him over the phone last night. I just can't keep secrets or stand secrets being kept from me. Makes me a monster around my birthday and Christmas, haha.

Happy birthday and hurrrrryyy up baby C!

Brittany Ann said...

Happy Belated Birthday, my friend!

Louisiana Tara said...

Wow, sorry, you got some hurtful comments. But happy (belated) birthday!

Lucky in Love said...

Sorry you received such hurtful comments on your birthday post...but it doesn't surprise me at all :) Perhaps it's hard for others to understand a relationship such as yours? Me...I have no problem. But that's because we are the same person. Such as when I ask Matt to go out and get me some food like any other loving husband to a pregnant woman...and he says, "get it yourself." I know he says it out of love :)

Katie said...

I'm sorry I missed this! Happy belated birthday! I was very pregnant on my 25th birthday and its true...all I thought about was baby. Still, my new theory on birthdays is WHO CARES :) My kid comes first now. I'm already planning her 1st bday and am SO excited! ha