Friday, September 11, 2009

The Giant Revealed

A few months ago, I wrote a series that many of you seemed to enjoy. The series was called the Real Life Romance series and through it, I told the story of us in seven installments.

Well, if you recall, in Part 5 of the series, I told every single one of you in blog land that my-now-husband-then-kind-of-boyfriend-who-was-19-at-the-time PEED THE BED on our very "first date".

I must say that I was completely and utterly disgusted with the fact that out of 17 comments, only TWO of you made mention of the fact that a grown man wet the bed on my parents' boat and yet, I still chose to date him, become engaged to him and marry him. Are you serious?

Rachel said "Oh my gosh, you had me totally sucked in with this post!!! I still cannot believe he peed in the bed! Poor guy! But it is kinda funny!"

Brooke said "first off - he should have realized your fabulousness when you gave him the bed, the pee-sheet cleanup should have sealed the deal! and the waiting - that must have sucked!"

Where were the rest of you on that on?

So, because I was so appalled that the rest of you didn't come through for me and mock and ridicule my hubby's bed wetting, I thought I would dig out the speech that he gave at our wedding so you can all witness how he broke the news to my parents (after 2 years of secrets). This will be fun, it will be like you were all at my wedding with me -- which I wish you were.

**Disclaimer: I do have my hubby's permission to share this story. I would not reveal his giant without permission. Although, after making this confession in front of 200 people at our wedding, does he really have much say?

To the [Lucy's maiden name] family; I thank you for all that you have done in preparation for this day. Thank you for all the laughs, love and hard work that went into it. We appreciate it so much. But beyond that, I thank you for giving me another family to call my own. You've given me the woman of my dreams who, from the start, I knew was the one for me. So now, since the knot is tied and I'm officially a part of your family, I can honestly share the story of how I knew your daughter was the one because it's too late for you to do anything about it. On my very first visit to [Lucy's hometown] in the summer of 2004, Lucy brought me to the boat for the weekend. A long day of fun in the sun makes for a little dehydration. I wasn't feeling so good, and being a lifeguard I knew the symptoms of dehydration so from about 3:00 pm onward, I drank as much water as I could. After an evening of drinks, ice cream and puppy love, I went to bed dreaming of my perfect girl. Unfortunately, my dreams were rudely interrupted by a warm sensation I knew so well. As a child, I grew up with a little problem which was somewhat hidden until today. I had difficulties with nocturnal bladder control. From the time I was a small boy, sadly to say, until grade 9, I struggled with this issue. I thought I had overcome this giant in my life. I was moving on to as many sleepovers and slumber parties as I could. I could now go to GL not having to worry about putting plastic garbage bags on my mattress before I put the sheets on. I was becoming a man. But, after years of silence, this giant unveiled his ugly face again. Needless to say, not at the most convenient time. A young man trying to flaunt his stuff around the woman of his dreams needs to be bringing his A game. By this point, I was doing pretty good, I had already held her hand and it was only Friday night. I had all my plans set out for the next day, but the giant and I were not on the same page. I could blame this on genetics because my Grandfather wet the bed on his honeymoon. But, despite any excuse I could have made and all the paper towel in the world, I was not going to be able to cover up the yellow mess I had just created. All my plans to snag this beautiful girl were now laying in a puddle on my bed. After what seemed like an eternity, I decided there was no other choice: I had to tell Lucy what I had done. I had gone to the outhouse to try to clean myself up with a little water, but most of it just ended up on the floor. With my head hanging in shame and a new pair of shorts, I went to wake the sleeping beauty. It was around 5 am so I told her I couldn't sleep and wanted to go for a walk. The sleeping beauty was not so beautiful. She agreed to go, but first we had to stop at the outhouse. When she came out she had a disgusted look on her face and said, "I think someone peed all over the floor in there". All I did was smile and say, "You have no idea". We walked along the pier and when small talk started to run short I decided to take the plunge. Lucy is not exactly a morning person so I knew I needed to lighten the mood. I said, "I'll bet you $20 I can make you smile" (Lucy here: I am sure he bet me $100). She agreed to this bet and I knew it was time to reveal the giant. I explained to her the issues I had as a child and how it had kind of, sort of, reappeared. She was confused, so I cleared the air. I turned to her, looked into those deep green eyes and said softly, "I peed the bed". Apparently the confession did not exactly clear the air. She looked at me blankly and said, "YOU DID WHAT?" Again, I said, "I peed the bed". How many times was she going to make me voice my shame? Immediately, I won the bet because she broke into laughter. Somehow, we managed to clean up inside the boat without Lucy's parents knowing what was going on. Lucy graciously kept this secret hidden from them and snuck the sheets home to wash them without anyone knowing a thing. It was then that I knew she was the one. Now the hardest thing was trying to keep it a secret from everyone else. I knew in my heart of hearts she was a woman I could trust, but let's be honest, can you trust anyone with that secret? The news spread quickly that a 19 year old man had just wet the bed. Somehow, over the past two years we have managed to keep this a secret from the entire [Lucy's maiden name] family but today, as your new son, you have no choice to accept me for who I am, bed wetter or not.


Shaina said...

Okay, I guess I somehow missed this part of your story...but I am totally loving it!!! What a cutie. And so true, how that's how he knew you were the one!!!! I'm pretty sure that's what Matt thought, too, after the unfortunate bleeding incident I emailed you about that once. :)

Also, it could have been of my friends is dating someone who pees on her bedroom floor when he gets drunk. I told her she should probably start making him sleep in the bathroom.

Lucky in Love said...

This is hilarious :) I can't believe I didn't comment on it before! I love that you posted about it again. And what a great speech! That man has no shame :)

Kristin said...

Luce, I laugh at this every time I think of it. However, there are far funnier things that FD has done that make me laugh more but those are your stories to tell ;-)

Brooke said...

:P lol! that's awesome! way to man up and admit it. especially in front of all those people.

Kayla said...

Oh my gosh, I have no idea how I missed that part! That is freakin hilarious! :-) Thank you so much for sharing, you definitely put a smile on my face!

But you know: To help in his shame, I had the same problem growing up, only until the age of 7 or so. It was not fun and sooooo embarrassing! Though, I did not do it at 19, I still feel his pain! :-)

Holly said...

Brave fellow! That took guts.

Annie said...

haha! i think i must have missed the first post but glad you posted on it again.
love the speech!!

Kristen said...

I LOVE the fact that he said that at your reception and the fact that he mentioned how his grandfather wet the bed on his honeymoon. I think if I were you I would have been nervous he was going to do the same!

3 Blessings said...

That is hilarious. I missed the first post. He is brave not only admitting it to your family, but the entire reception. :)

SnoWhite said...

so... the logical question is... what was your family's reaction?! ;-)

I'm glad he knew that you were it at that point. It's a unique way to determine the love another person has for you :)

Brittany Ann said...

LOL! I'm with Shaina! I must have missed this, or somehow your deep beautiful love story just overshadowed it! Either way, this is too, too good! I love it! You all have the funniest little pieces of your love story, and I love love reading them!

Mandi @ Finding Home said...

Awww....your hubby! I totally read this with a smile. What a gem of a woman you are too. I just am dying to know what your family said when they found out!

Jenny.Lee said...

Ok, I'm not sure how I missed the fabulous dude peeing the bed the first time round... I literally laughed out loud reading this.

Taryn said...

OMG! I need to read those romance posts!

(I have to tell you- When I was in high school- I was really mad at my sister about something stupid- but as we were having a heated discussion I exclaimed to her "You better watch out- or . . .or . . . or I'll pee in your bed!" To this day I have not lived that threat down. My family uses that threat all.the.time. (It has even more weight- I had surgery in 6th grade to fix a bladder issue- so let FD know- I feel his pain.))

TRICIA @boutellefamilyzoo said...

Oh my gosh! I just almost peed my pants laughting at his version of the story!!!
Now to my (defense) I actually thought that I had commented on the bedwetting. In fact I was so sure that I just went back to that post to check. No dice. No comment on the pee.
I will be e-mailing you shortly with a brief description of why that didn't really phase me. You see, as I have permission to tell the story of why I am so desensitized, it is in fact a story not for the faint of heart, and I choose to share it only with you (and FD of course) via e-mail and not include myself in any of the possible shame via association. ;)

Seriously though, the FD is quite possibly the bravest (or craziest) bedwetter I know to tell that story at his wedding reception. ;0


C @ Project Pretty said...

Bahahaha.... this is amazing. I seriously can't believe he had the guts to do that! :)

Anonymous said...

WOW, as shocked as I am that we were the only two who said anything, I am MORE IN SHOCK that he gave that speech AT YOUR WEDDING!!!

(He's one brave, and obviously very self-secure man!)

Jorden and Kristin said...

ohhhh my goodness! i am laughing SO stinking hard!

i can sympathize though! I wet the bed until i was 14 and finally had to take medicine to stop!

thankfully, it's yet to rear its ugly head!