Sunday, April 5, 2009

A Lesson and a Grow-Op

First of all, thank you all so much for your encouragement, prayers and well wishes for my presentation last Friday. Unfortunately, it did not go as well as I had hoped. Of course, my nerves got the best of me causing me to stumble over words and get dry mouth syndrome (I'm really going to have to get that under control before my real defense!) My professors also asked me questions I did not expect and suggested way more changes than I anticipated. So, the task before me is daunting. I thought I was about this close to being finished my final paper and now I realize I am actually only about this close. I have a telephone consultation scheduled with one of the professors (the more approachable one) tomorrow which should be helpful. Needless to say, I was quite discouraged on Friday and came home with a very heavy burden weighing on me.

However, God spoke to me over the weekend and taught me a very important lesson. I have come to realize that even if I don't get an A in the class (which I likely still will), it doesn't really matter. I get SO caught up in it all so easily. But in the end, who cares? If I don't do well in this class, I still have a wonderful husband, fantastic parents and siblings, amazing friends and a supportive church family. I can still cook food, bake bread, scrapbook, pray, be a mama *someday I hope*, take care of my home, walk with my God, grow, learn, enjoy nature and the list goes on .... There are so many things that I enjoy and am good at that don't have anything to do with academics. And when it boils down to it, those are the things I want to cling to. This doesn't mean I will never get stressed about school again or that I am going to stop trying hard but I have gained a little perspective after a discouraging experience followed by an encouraging weekend spent with my mom, my husband and my church family. I have always been good at school but that is only one part of my identity and it does not, and should not, be all that defines me. I want to be first a child of God, second a faithful wife, a trustworthy friend, an encouraging sister.... My academics/career comes so far behind all of those things and I am slowly learning that.

"Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things". - Col. 3:2.

On another note, we have a sweet little grow op set up in our laundry room. Gardening season is fast approaching and so we've recently started our tomatoes in doors in hopes that they will be strong enough by mid-May to be transported outdoors. Last year we bought tomato plants but this year, we decided to try from seed. This year we are the fabulous dude is planning on increasing the size of our garden so we can enjoy more fresh veggies when the harvest comes. Maybe this year I'll be a better helper.


Snow White said...

my friend (I feel like I can call you that...), thank you for sharing. It is so easy to let academics define who we are -- it seems that almost everyone does in the academy -- but God calls us to different things, the very things you wrote of today. Thanks for that reminder and for sharing what He's been teaching you.

Anonymous said...

I love you lucy!!!!

C said...

You're so right- glad you gained some perspective this weekend! Oh, and I'm jealous of your green thumb! :)

Anonymous said...

It's interesting (although sometimes it stinks) to see how God uses circumstances to help us prioritize our life. I find myself having to learn that lesson over and over again. :o) Thanks for being honest.

Taryn said...

I know what it feels like to be thisclose to being done and to have them drag it out f o r e v e r. You can do it.

And thanks for the reminder that I am more than a student. School seems to think otherwise- but I am a human first. = ) Thanks. It is good to know I am not alone.