Deep Breath

... something I have forget to do sometimes. Although the term is "winding down" it is really just "winding up" for my classmates and I. All of our assignments and marking will be due in the next two weeks.

This afternoon, I will be giving an ultra scary presentation. Let me tell you, this assignment has sucked the life right out of me. Without going into too many details, let me just say that the assignment stinks. Honestly. All of the students (and a number of faculty members) agree that the assignment is counterproductive to the goals of the course and the program, however, no matter how many complaints are made over the years, it just seems the chair of the department and the professors of the course won't make many changes.

The assignment is difficult because we are basically asked to squish squash our own research projects into the form of a research proposal while conforming to a ridiculous number of guidelines that do not fit with our own projects. We then have to defend our proposals to our classmates and professors, take the suggestions given to us in the defense and re-formulate our proposal. Also, there are two professors teaching the course who rest on completely opposite ends of the theoretical spectrum, making it quite difficult to please them both.

So, today is the day. This is the presentation I have been dreading for the past 2+ months. I have lost countless nights of sleep, been stressed to the max, had mini-breakdowns, made myself sick to my stomach and now it's here. And surprisingly, I am incredibly calm. Honestly, I can't believe that I am not totally freaking out right now. I spent most of the week practicing and memorizing and thinking of answers to the aspects of my research that I suspect I might get called on and now I am calm.

I'm sure the calmness will probably leave me while I am driving to school. The butterflies might make their way into this tummy of mine as I am sitting in the class listening to the presentation ahead of mine. But, the fact that I am not currently throwing up is a good sign. So, if you feel so inclined, please pray for me and wish me luck as I take a deep breath, strut myself to the front of the classroom and show them who's boss!