Tuesday, May 29, 2012

A Few Open Letters – Because That’s All This Preggo Can Muster Up

Dear Tactless People of the World,

Did you know that, “Wow. You look really exhausted?” is code for “You look like crap”? Please stop saying it. Also, while you’re at it, you may want to practice reigning in that eyes popping out of your head surprised look when you ask me how much longer I have to go and I tell you a month. It’s not nice. Instead, smile and say, “Oh, wow. I never would have guessed. You look so tiny!”

Love,
An Angry (apparently huge and exhausted looking) Preggo

~~~

Dear Baby #2,

Please go easy on me. There is a lot that still needs to get done before you arrive. So, be nice. You don’t really need to practice your ninja moves on my bladder, tailbone and lady parts. There will be lots of time to perfect your acrobatics when you’re an outside baby.

Love,
Your Mother

~~~

Dear Humidity,

Goodbye. I hate you.

Love,
This Sweaty Person

~~~

Dear Pepsi,

Why you gotta be so tasty?

Love,
Addicted to You

~~~

Dear Random Person I Have Not Seen or Spoken to in Fifteen Years,

Don’t try to “Friend” me on facebook shortly before my due date. I won’t accept it. It’s clear you just want to creep on my baby.

Love,
We Aren’t Really Friends

~~~

Dear Toddler,

Remember when you used to go to bed without screaming your head off? That was nice.

Love,
Peaceful Bedtime Loving Mama

10 comments:

Anna-Lise said...

...love it! I really appreciate that you can put into words what others of us think but don't so eloquently say!

Katie @ Loves of Life said...

Oh this was good times. :P

Erin said...

hated being kicked in the bladded haha and the humidity is nasty here!!!! icky!!!

Lindsey B said...

We aren't really friend's was my fav...and made me glad I creeped on your FB before you were too pregnant to deny me! Ha!

Lindsey B said...

And I really mean friends not friend's

Jackie said...

I SO hear ya on the first one. Just keep reminding ourselves, just 4 more weeks, that's just a month away right?!!? ;) Hang in there, sis!

This Texas Momma said...

Hey tiny, glowing, lovely pregnant lady....people and the weather can suck it. Evalyn will get better. Eventually. And yay for already being FB friends.

The end.

p.s.- I have an idea of what bebe is going to get made, but if I follow through it will be a first time project so.....yeah. Sorry if it's wonky.

Laura said...

Ohhh, those creepers who friend you right before/after having a baby. My ex's wife friended me on Facebook the week after I had Ethan. We have never said a word to each other (though she goes to our church) because things were just...weird...and I was all, "Why now? Huh?" In my head, of course. :)

Perfectly Imperfect said...

This made me laugh.

Also, can you forward the toddler letter to my E as well? She's been pulling that same mess lately and Mama is not a fan.

Cindy Whitfield said...

So ... what you're saying is you don't like to be called huge and "tired looking"? Weird... ;)

Loved catching up on the posts!