Tuesday, July 20, 2010

My Big Mistake

I think I made a big mistake.

No. Scratch that.

I know I made a big mistake.

Let me explain.

Early in my pregnancy, I decided that I was not going to let pregnancy slow me down. No matter how sick I was, no matter how uncomfortable I became, no matter how hot it was - pregnancy would not stop me from accomplishing all the things I like to accomplish in a day, a week, or a month.

Sure, there were nights in that nasty first trimester when I had no other choice but to go to bed at 8 pm because I fell asleep on the couch, but I always made sure I had things in order before I let myself lay down on the couch.

So, because of that attitude, when people began to find out I was pregnant and started treating me differently, it sometimes bothered me. Don't get me wrong, I appreciated the kindness that people extended to me and I completely understood that it was all with good intentions, but I sometimes had trouble accepting it.

When people would ask me if I wanted to put my feet up, if they could help me carry things, if I would prefer to sit in the more comfortable chair - I would always smile and politely decline, "No, thanks. I'm fine".

These moments began to happen more and more often as I became visibly pregnant. And that's when I made the mistake.

One time, after a particular instance, I came home to my Dude and said, "I get that people have good intentions, and I appreciate the kindness, but seriously, I'm pregnant, I'm not crippled."

Ah, how silly of me to utter that phrase.

Because now, as I swiftly approach the 8th month of my pregnancy, I have discovered that I was incredibly naive in those early days. Now I understand that pregnancy does, in fact, slow me down.

While the size of my pregnant belly increases as quickly as the temperature outside, I have discovered that I have to let some things go. I cannot do everything as quickly or as effortlessly as I used to do. I cannot complete my 5 km walk as swiftly (heck, sometimes I can't complete it at all), I cannot lift heavy-ish objects as easily, and I cannot move as gracefully.

But, the trouble is ... my sweet, Fabulous Dude will nary forget the day when I uttered those words "I'm pregnant, I'm not crippled".

Now, whenever I make even the slightest attempt to pull out the ever trusty pregnancy card around him, he throws it right back in my face.

"Sweetie, can you help me unload the dishwasher? My legs are a bit sore today."

"Nah, you're only pregnant, you're not crippled."

"Babe, would you mind running me a bubble bath?"

"Why? You can do it yourself. You're pregnant, not crippled."

"Love, can you rub my feet while I fall asleep?"

"I don't think so ... you're pregnant, not crippled."

Do you see what I mean when I say that I made a huge mistake?


**Just as a side note, the Dude has actually been quite sensitive and accommodating to the "state that I am in" ... he often does help with the dishes, run my bath, and rub my feet - the problem is, I unknowingly gave him this ammunition to use against me, and he sometimes goes ahead and uses it.


Emily said...

Oh no... just make him pay for it during those middle of the night feedings or diaper changes. Hee Hee!

Hope your hanging in there... you don't have much longer... he/she will be here soon!

Vee said...

I use my pregnancy card for all it's worth...it's the only time in your live when you can savor it! I mostly use it for the hubs, I'll take any extra foot rub I can get! HA

Hang in there. As for other people, enjoy the kindness offered up, cause people love helping pregnant women. Don't think of it as being weak, but as offering a service! =]

Gina said...

Enjoy the sympathy you do get while you can. I have to beg and plead for a 5 minute foot rub this time around!

Brooke said...

they love to twist what we say to their advantage don't they?

Meg said...

That's good to know... I'll try to remember that when our time comes! ;)

Amy Silver said...

HAHA, my hubby and I have had the EXACT same conversations! I remember being soo naive and making sure EVERYONE knew that I was going to be different, ohhh how silly of me :)

Jackie said...

Awww...hang in there. It will be here before you know it. And possibly early too. My Peanut was ten days early and didn't get my freezer meals done like I had hoped. :)

Jessica said...

Why do guys remember the things that we don't want them to but forget the things we do want them to remember!

Hope you are taking it easy as much as possible!

Elizabeth said...

I did the same thing with my first pregnancy! By the time I reached the part where I realized WHY people were so willing to help a pregnant woman, I had already told people to stop helping me. And I refused help with my newborn too :o\

But, you live and learn. By my last pregnancy, you bet I accepted help! "SURE!! Take my older kids for the night so I can rest!!" and "*Sniff* Yeah, my feet DO hurt. You're right, I deserve chocolate."

Brittany Ann said...

You know, I've already made that same pregnancy proclamation, but now, I'm taking it back. My hubs would totally do the same thing.

Kyle said...

haha, your husband sounds hilarious or at least he thinks he is hilarious (and has a great memory!) :)

Jen @ Canadian Rhapsody said...

Lol. I'm still having the opposite problem. I know I should let people help me, and that there are certain things I should no longer be doing (i.e. up on ladders or heavy lifting) but I'm too stubborn and independent to give it up. I still on occasion utter "well I'm not dead" when people get me in trouble for doing too much. She's slowly starting to drop into my pelvis, so I'm sure one day soon I'll be waddling around uncomfortable and wondering why no one is offering any more!

d.a.r. said...

Haha! Duly noted. Z would never let me live that down, either!