Friday, October 2, 2009

Not a Fan

I am not a fan of mascots. There is something about a grown person dressed in a strange costume, usually of the animal persuasion, that conceals their secret identity that just irks me.

My negative feelings towards mascots go way back ... all the way back to my first year of undergrad. I went to a different University at that point. I transferred away after my first year. Perhaps because of this incident.

I was sharing a room with BFF in my sister's apartment. I had early morning class so I caught a ride with my sister, who worked on campus and started her job at 7:30 a.m. My class was not until 8 but being there 30 minutes early was worth it since I'd have to leave nearly the same time if I were to walk.

Classes did not start until 8 am, so campus was nearly deserted. I said goodbye to my sister as she made her way up to her lab and I kept walking across campus, towards the language building, where my French class was held. I was the only person in sight. On the way to this building, I had to pass under an overhead tunnel that connected one building to another. As I began to make my way under the tunnel, I looked to the other side and there, standing completely still beside a bike rack was a 6 foot tall White Rabbit.

As I made my way toward the rabbit, I had this deep, sinking feeling in my gut that he was going to jump out and grab me as I walked past. Even though I was mentally preparing myself for what I thought was undoubtedly going to happen, I knew that I would probably poop my pants scream and jump if he ... she ... IT did take a lunge at me. I quickly weighed my options. I could turn around and run the other way. I could take veer to the other side of the walkway and get myself as far from the rabbit as possible. I could duck into the nearest doorway. Or, I could brave it up, hold my head high and keep on walking.

Since I was the only person in sight (aside from the rabbit - who I am not entirely sure was a person) I knew I had to keep walking. It would seem somewhat obvious that I was scared of it if I turned and walked the other way.

So, I clenched my fists on the straps of my backpack and briskly began the approach toward the rabbit, all the while praying "Please don't let it jump at me. Please don't let it jump at me." I managed to get past it without it making a move. Super creepy, right?

I went to class and tried to erase the horrific mental picture from my mind. Around lunchtime, I was set to meet BFF in a courtyard to eat between our classes. When I met up with her, I immediately ran to her and told her the unbelievable story of the rabbit. She was as flabbergasted as I! We sat down and began to eat our lunch. At some point during our relaxing lunch period, one of us looked up and gasped. It's hard to believe, I know, but the rabbit was there. Standing motionlessly in the courtyard, it's beady red eyes staring us down.

We quickly packed up our things. Said goodbye and split off for class, hoping to never see that wretched creature again.

At the end of our day, BFF and I met up again to walk home. As we started walking down the pathway, one of us happened to glance behind us and saw it again. The rabbit was there! Walking a few yards behind us. By this point, we were both fairly certain that this creature was out to get us. It was clearly following us! (Because, you know, there is no way that this rabbit could possibly just be heading in the same direction as us - three times in one day!) We started walking quickly but were afraid that we would not be able to gain enough speed. So, I thought quickly and directed Katie to dodge into the nearest building and take a detour home.

Thirty minutes later, we were safe in the comfort of our apartment. Free from the terror of the White Rabbit.

That night, we borrowed my sister's car to go get some ice cream and do some shopping. In order to get to the area we wanted to go to, we had to drive through a part of the city that was wooded... dark and wooded. As we rounded the bends of the curvy roads we started talking about the Rabbit that had haunted our day. We began wondering what we would do if the Rabbit was in our backseat, if he jumped out of the woods in front of our car, if he was lurking there, waiting for us.

As any mature, 18 year old girls would do, we quickly locked our doors and I pressed the accelerator down a little harder to ensure that we would get out of the woods as soon as possible. We were only concerned with our safety, you know.

We never saw the White Rabbit again, thankfully and as the years have passed, the horror of the event has faded from my mind.

Until two days ago. When the nightmare returned.

I walked out of the library, on my way back to my office, when lo and behold, I was standing face to face with a giant Rooster. As though a natural response, my pulse quickened, my palms got clammy and I felt my body instinctively drift towards the periphery of the hallway, in order to put as much possible distance between myself and the Rooster.

I somehow managed to escape the Rooster unscathed. Unbelievably, he did not reach out to capture me into his feathery clutches. But, my friends, I am afraid that my luck will soon run out. How many more creepy, animal, mascot creatures will I possibly survive?

20 comments:

Shaina said...

OMG, I am DYING laughing. That sounds like something out of a movie, or a situational comedy or something!!! So freaking weird!

Have you ever seen Freaks and Geeks? It is one of the best TV shows ever, in my opinion. There is a great episode about when one of the main characters becomes the school mascot - possibly the creepiest mascot ever, The Norseman. I will have to find a photo of him for you. :)

Kristin said...

Oh, I forgot about the rabbit. That freaked me out and I didn't even see it.

Lois Lane II said...

Oh my goodness!!! LOL!!!

Okay, I have to tell you my story with mascots (sort of). We went to Cedarpoint in Ohio this summer, and they have a guy/girl dressed up in a Snoopy costume. I LOVE Snoopy, so I wanted to get my pic taken with him. Hubby did it, and NEITHER OF US NOTICED until we got the picture developed (throw away camera) that Snoopy's hand was placed over a specific upper part of my body that it should NOT have been. Not sure if it was an accident or not, but the Hubby actually got a kick out of it.

Brooke said...

just curious, did you do drugs the first year of college?

Brittany Ann said...

Oh, this is funny! And simultaneously horrible! I agree. They're creepy.

Meg said...

ahahaha...girl, you crack me up!

That would totally freak me out as well.

Summer @ B is for Brown said...

that is the funniest story ever. still laughing!~

The Neffs said...

This was so funny! Thanks for making me laugh! I mean that as a compliment. Mascots are sort of strange and most children don't know quite what to do around them hug them or run away! lol

Annie said...

haha, you are too funny!!!

i was once at a grocery store with my mom when my states NBA team mascot thought it would be funny to walk around the entire store and grocery shop with us.

Aunt Shelley said...

OH NO!!!Lucy I have to tell you that Mitch's ambition in life is to be a mascot. They even censored it from his future ambition in the grade 8 yearbook. The teacher didn't think it was appropriate. Must have something to do with the education stream at university. Oh well...I guess he'll have to be like FD and just never grow up!!

Holly said...

That's so funny! However, I find the choice of mascots almost as hilarious...a rabbit and a rooster?

SnoWhite said...

Rabbit and a Rooster. Funny.

New England Girl said...

Oh my goodness!!! While I am now laughing, the whole time reading this, all I could think about was how terrified and traumatized I too would have been! I probably wouldn't have kept my composure, probably would have attacked first [I can see myself tackling the huge rabbit in a fit of fear] and being promptly escorted off campus. What a scary thing... 3 times in one day?! Ugh. I would have left after the first time. :)

Lucky in Love said...

This is too funny! And creepy that he was around you so much in one day! And way was he wearing that during the day anyway? Weird.

But the Rooster..I would've freaked! You know how I feel about birds...

Lindsey Carver said...

Poor Lucy! I wonder if there was a secret admirer in that rabbit....okay, maybe more like a not-so-secret stalker.

newlyweds said...

OMG, that is funny as hell and so wierd, what was up with that rabbit!! Ha Ha ha!

Emily said...

HAHAHA! You are too funny, girl! That is one of the best stories ever!

Kristen said...

okay that is the most random ever! But I would be freaked out too!

Katie said...

Oh gosh what a weird and unsettling story! Very creepy...

C @ Project Pretty said...

Bahahaha... you are too stinking cute. I have to admit- mascots are pretty creepy!!