Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Real Life Romance: Part Four

Click here to read the first three parts of the Real Life Romance series

The Summer of '04

After leaving GL, we all said our goodbyes and left for the summer, this time knowing we wouldn't be coming back in September. I moved back home, returned to my summer waitressing job and began to think about all the stuff the FD had said to me over the past few weeks. As I mentioned, I was currently in a fairly serious relationship, that FD clearly did not think was right for me. He pointed out a number of reasons why he didn't think the relationship could last and, try as I might, I could not disagree with him.

So, summer began, I was at home and FD left to spend six weeks at camp. Without really knowing what was to come of the FD and myself, I made a very difficult decision and I broke things off with the boyfriend. It was one of the hardest things I had ever done because he was kind and sweet and, well, perfect. Just not perfect for me. He was a great guy but my heart was no longer fully committed to the relationship. Many people thought he and I were meant to be and could not understand why I was making this choice but I knew he was not meant to be my future husband and so the answer was clear to me. In the weeks following the break up, I was often asked if I broke up with him for the fabulous dude. I told them no and I still believe that this was an honest answer. Although the FD played a role, I believe the relationship would have ended regardless.

I spent the next six weeks wrestling. I wrestled with feelings of loneliness. I was away from my friends. After spending four years at boarding school, I had lost touch with most of my friends from town. I struggled with confusion over the next step in life. I was lined up to start university in the fall at the same school my brother and sister attended and the same school that the ex-boyfriend would also be attending. It was the only university I had applied to because I thought I knew exactly where I was heading and I was starting to doubt that decision. I wrestled with God. I prayed hard, I immersed myself in the Word and I was searching for answers. Looking back, I now realize I was closer to God at that point than I ever had been, or have been to this point.

Over that summer, I became closer to my parents than ever before. Along with waitressing, I also worked for my parents so I spent a lot of time with them, especially my mom. It was just the three of us at home and they knew I was struggling. At first they were upset with me about my decisions but they quickly realized that it was for the best. We tackled these issues together and decided that I would, in fact, enroll in university in the fall and if after a semester I wasn't happy with the decision, I would come home and re-evaluate my goals.

For the six week period that the FD was working at camp, I had no idea what would happen when he returned. I wrote him letters almost every day, sent him two care packages and even sent him a raspberry pie (his favourite) when my mom went to camp as a volunteer for a week. When my mom came home the first thing I asked her was if he sent anything for me. He hadn't. Over the whole summer I only got one letter from him. There where days when this really bothered me and then other days when I didn't care. I tried not to think much of it because I knew how busy camp was and I knew that he wasn't exactly the type to sit down and write letters (Remember when I mentioned that I did his homework and typed his reports in high school?).

When I finally received a letter from him, it was short and mostly consisted of small talk. But the last line read "I think of you often". I pondered the meaning of these words for days and days. I was certain that he wouldn't carelessly write that. He was a sensitive and thoughtful young man. I was sure it meant something for him to say that he thought of me often. This one simple line helped me to feel secure that it wasn't a big deal to not be getting letters upon letters upon letters from him. Looking back, I think I knew there was no need to be insecure because I trusted God had a plan and I would be content whether or not it involved the FD. And then, one Saturday, when I got home from work, mom told me he had called on his day off. I knew that the phone call meant he was missing me too.

So, I continued to wrestle.

August arrived and I knew that camp would soon be over, but I wasn't exactly sure when. I was surprised when I got a phone call early one Saturday morning from the FD. The conversation was fairly quick but went something like this, "I'm home from camp and my parents are on vacation. Can I come visit you?"

I said yes.

To be continued...

**Sorry about the lack of photos in this post but there are really none to share.

The Real Life Romance series is being linked up at MM&Ms at Musings of a Future Pastor's Wife


Snow White said...

Isn't it amazing to look back and see how God was at work during a time that was so challenging? thanks for sharing.

I think as girls we tend to read into and ponder things guys say or write... I know I did that with some of Frog Prince's letters :) We are kindred spirits, my friend.

C said...

Love this part of the story! So glad you sought God during that time- just look at the results it had!!

..still waiting for the section that answers my question. ;)

Taryn said...

This is so weird. After Chris and I met he broke up with his pretty serious girlfriend. Not because of me- but because he met me and knew he could do better. Does that make sense? It seems very similar to what you did. Lucy Marie- I can't wait to hear the rest of your story!

...Mrs. Southern Bride... said... sweet! :)

Kristen said...

oh I love these stories! I love that you trusted God to completely write your story!!

p.s. I fixed the button but the text link looks cute!

Lucky in Love said...

Oh I cannot wait for the rest!!

Denise K. said...

I have got a lot of catching up to do!!! I will check out your first few parts so I can be up to speed on this great romance! I miss reading your blog and knowing what is going on...we are on our 5th set of company this summer so I have been behind on blogging...please know I am thinking about you my friend!

Anonymous said...

Oh my gosh, way to leave us hanging!!! :)

Since I know you post on Wednesdays, I have to force myself not to come over here and read early. :)

Lauren said...

WOw - what an awesome story! I am so looking forward to reading more!!!!

Brooke said...

i can't wait to read more...and its truly awesome to look back at how God has worked in our lives.

sara said...

Great story! And I love hearing about women that were listening to God in their teens....I was not.
looking forward to the rest!

Jill said...

I love that you were able to rest securely in the knowledge that God had a plan for you. So often we fight and struggle as if worried that God will forget us or mess us up somehow! What a lot of needless worry we could save if we just rested in Him.

Amy said...

You're seriously going to leave us hanging right there?! I completely understand how you would ponder his words for days ~ I do that type of thing, too! I love to see how God was working in your life during that time!

TRICIA @boutellefamilyzoo said...

Perspective is an amazing thing, isnt it? Your story is so perfectly written that I can absolutely imagine how you felt on those days. I was so immersed for these few minutes that it actually took me a couple of minutes to realize that Karlee was pulling on my pant leg. I guess that's good writing. ;)

(I guess the benefit to catching up is that I get to jump straight to part 5) ;)