Let me tell you something about my husband. He snores. A lot. Really Loud. ALL.THE.TIME. Honestly, he's the only person I know who snores while he's still awake. (I stole that line from a TV show or movie somewhere but I'm not sure).
Let me tell you something about me. I like to sleep. A lot. I enjoy deep, uninterrupted sleep and when I don't get this type of sleep I get a wee bit cranky. Not sure how I'll do as a Mom.
Let me tell you something about our marriage. This has proven to be a lethal, explosive combination. Seriously, it might sound petty, but I would say it is the #1 cause of conflict in our marriage. Being awake while the person beside me is sleeping (and snoring) soundly is one of the most frustrating experiences ever!!!! He's also extremely difficult to wake up, which increases my frustration level.
It seems a bit funny to me that before we were married the thing I looked forward to most about getting married and living together was that we would get to share a bed. I thought about spooning the night away and waking up to his sweet kisses. In fact, when he moved into our apartment 6 weeks before our wedding, he didn't even use our new bedding because I made him save it all for when I moved in. When we returned from our honeymoon, I found that he had made the bed up all nice and hotel-like. We called it our "Marriage Carriage". Our dreams were coming true...
BAH! Those dreams were short lived. I remember in our first weeks of marriage I would wake up to the loud, nasally growls. All I had to do was say "snoring" in a quiet voice and he would mumble an apology and roll over, granting me peace and quiet. Well, this worked for a while. However, as time wore on, I became less tolerant of his snoring and he became less sensitive to my gentle reminders to stop snoring.
Nearly three years later, we are still searching for a solution to this problem. The only two solutions that work are 1) I go to bed much earlier than him to ensure I'm deep in slumber by the time he comes to bed or 2) He sleeps on the couch. Clearly, neither of these options are ideal. Generally, I stay up later than him and so that rules out number 1. And well, number 2 just stinks for obvious reasons (although I have enforced this option on a few desperate-for-sleep nights). The closest thing to a solution and my saving grace is this little (dusty) number...
Yup, I cannot sleep without this fan blowing. It seems to (somewhat) drown out the disgusting noise that resonates from my fabulous dude's nasal cavity night after night after night after night after night. But, it still hasn't completely solved our marital woes. I beg, and I mean BEG, him on a regular basis to try to stay awake until I fall asleep to ensure that he will not keep me awake. This has yet to happen. Oh, did I forget to mention, that along with his snoring he can also fall asleep 5 seconds before laying his head on his pillow? Honestly, the speed at which this dude can fall asleep blows my freakin' mind.
Last night, on our way to grocery store, the radio announcers were asking listeners to call in and give their opinion on the following question .... "If one partner snores, is it better for them to sleep in separate beds or put up with the snoring?"
Some of the responses reflected my feelings exactly. One caller wondered why the person who snores always seems to be the one who falls asleep first. Yup, no fair. One caller suggested that while sleeping in separate beds might decrease the "romantic connection" between spouses, laying awake for hours on end while your hubby snores might also have the potential to decrease said connection. Good point. But, the caller I resonated with most said something along the lines of this...
"It's not that I think he's a bad person. He's a great person when he's awake. But at night, he snores so loudly that it causes me to have very violent thoughts about him. Sometimes, I want to punch him in the head".
My feelings exactly. Perhaps we have just found our solution.