Tuesday, February 24, 2009

The Solution

Let me tell you something about my husband. He snores. A lot. Really Loud. ALL.THE.TIME. Honestly, he's the only person I know who snores while he's still awake. (I stole that line from a TV show or movie somewhere but I'm not sure).

Let me tell you something about me. I like to sleep. A lot. I enjoy deep, uninterrupted sleep and when I don't get this type of sleep I get a wee bit cranky. Not sure how I'll do as a Mom.

Let me tell you something about our marriage. This has proven to be a lethal, explosive combination. Seriously, it might sound petty, but I would say it is the #1 cause of conflict in our marriage. Being awake while the person beside me is sleeping (and snoring) soundly is one of the most frustrating experiences ever!!!! He's also extremely difficult to wake up, which increases my frustration level.

It seems a bit funny to me that before we were married the thing I looked forward to most about getting married and living together was that we would get to share a bed. I thought about spooning the night away and waking up to his sweet kisses. In fact, when he moved into our apartment 6 weeks before our wedding, he didn't even use our new bedding because I made him save it all for when I moved in. When we returned from our honeymoon, I found that he had made the bed up all nice and hotel-like. We called it our "Marriage Carriage". Our dreams were coming true...

BAH! Those dreams were short lived. I remember in our first weeks of marriage I would wake up to the loud, nasally growls. All I had to do was say "snoring" in a quiet voice and he would mumble an apology and roll over, granting me peace and quiet. Well, this worked for a while. However, as time wore on, I became less tolerant of his snoring and he became less sensitive to my gentle reminders to stop snoring.

Nearly three years later, we are still searching for a solution to this problem. The only two solutions that work are 1) I go to bed much earlier than him to ensure I'm deep in slumber by the time he comes to bed or 2) He sleeps on the couch. Clearly, neither of these options are ideal. Generally, I stay up later than him and so that rules out number 1. And well, number 2 just stinks for obvious reasons (although I have enforced this option on a few desperate-for-sleep nights). The closest thing to a solution and my saving grace is this little (dusty) number...

Yup, I cannot sleep without this fan blowing. It seems to (somewhat) drown out the disgusting noise that resonates from my fabulous dude's nasal cavity night after night after night after night after night. But, it still hasn't completely solved our marital woes. I beg, and I mean BEG, him on a regular basis to try to stay awake until I fall asleep to ensure that he will not keep me awake. This has yet to happen. Oh, did I forget to mention, that along with his snoring he can also fall asleep 5 seconds before laying his head on his pillow? Honestly, the speed at which this dude can fall asleep blows my freakin' mind.

Last night, on our way to grocery store, the radio announcers were asking listeners to call in and give their opinion on the following question .... "If one partner snores, is it better for them to sleep in separate beds or put up with the snoring?"

Some of the responses reflected my feelings exactly. One caller wondered why the person who snores always seems to be the one who falls asleep first. Yup, no fair. One caller suggested that while sleeping in separate beds might decrease the "romantic connection" between spouses, laying awake for hours on end while your hubby snores might also have the potential to decrease said connection. Good point. But, the caller I resonated with most said something along the lines of this...

"It's not that I think he's a bad person. He's a great person when he's awake. But at night, he snores so loudly that it causes me to have very violent thoughts about him. Sometimes, I want to punch him in the head".

My feelings exactly. Perhaps we have just found our solution.

10 comments:

Tereasa said...

"...the disgusting noise that resonates from my fabulous dude's naval cavity..."

Lu, If disgusting noises were coming out of my husband's belly button, I would seriously consider taking him to the doctor!

As for the snoring issue, we had the same exact problem our first three years of marriage. Seriously. The solution? Scott had sinus surgery during the first trimester of my pregnancy. He hasn't snored since. During the second trimester, I began snoring and haven't stopped. Revenge is sweet.

Lucy Marie said...

Oops .. typo. Nasal not naval. I fixed it :D

Emily MacKenzie said...

Have you tried the breath right strips? I've heard good things.

Tricia said...

and i just became scared to death of getting married!!! lol or maybe he'll have to be scared...from what i hear about me snoring! lol :)

Stephanie said...

This same exact thing happen to my and my hubbie. I'm a very light sleeper, and I was not very nice to him the first 6 months we were married. He was often woken up in the middle of the night by me pushing him and telling him to roll over. I used a fan for a while, and it helped a little. I know sleep with earplugs in, and it is wonderful! I can still hear important things like my alarm clock, and even talking, but they block out the snoring!

Miss(es) Canadian Pie said...

I feel like you walked into my EXACT life and wrote out me and my hubbys story. Even down to the "not using the bedding" until after you were married. I sleep wtih a fan. He falls asleep in less than 5 seconds. I mean, every single thing you wrote.

I'm thinking though that my hubby may have sleep apnea or another sleep disorder. I watched an Oprah episode on sleep and the expert on there said that if you fall asleep in less than 15 minutes, there is usually a sleep disorder. We are hoping to get my hubby checked by his doctor but are pretty sure that he will have to spend the night in a sleep place and be "observed". My hubby has to use a special pillow that does help with the snoring a bit...when he doesn't use it (like if we forget it while on vacation) he sounds sooo much louder. Perhaps a trip to the doctor is in order. I would hate to think that his snoring would send you two to seperate rooms...sad. :(

Oh yeah, and about the scrapbooking cubes...they were purchased at Michaels craft store! And if you happen to go there before Friday, they are %40 off. I think they were around $25 (without tax) per cube.

Becky said...

You are preaching to the choir!! I have slept with a fan for as long as I can remember...it's the only way for me to stay sane...literally!! Preach on!!!

Denise K. said...

Ah, wives of snoring husbands unite!!!! For years, I fell asleep on the couch...then we moved to a bigger house and I slept in the guest room...We have a great marriage, (going on 20years plus!) BUT I still sleep in a guest room and we are both perfectly happy! Now, I just decorated the guest room the way I like (the green and black room) and we join up in the mornings or watching TV at night, but when it comes to SLEEP..we're seperate. If you have a guest room, I say bring your pillow, and r-e-l-a-x in perfect quiet! :-)

Just Keeping it Real said...

I just stumbled onto your blog, but couldn't help leaving a comment. My husband and I both had problems with snoring. After years of health problems and FINALLY a sleep study, it was determined that he stopped breathing 40 times in an hour and I stopped 90 plus times. We both have C-pap machines and they have made a world of difference to our lives. We are more rested and alert during waking hours, his heart problems have disappeared (arithmia), we've been able to drop extra weight, headaches have disappeared and I could go on and on. PLEASE LOOK INTO HAVING A SLEEP STUDY DONE. Most are covered by health insurance. I promise you'll be having sweet dreams if you find out this is the problem...

Meagan said...

HAHAHAHA...this post just fit me to a T!! I am the exact same way as you and am still trying to figure out how I'm going to deal with the snoring when I get married.

I guess I'm going to have to do what Meredith did on Grey's Anatomy.....get wax ear plugs!!