just like this

Sometimes life with little kids is kind of mundane. I mean, there is fun and excitement and joy and chaos in each day but often, it’s monotonous. The same thing day and and day out. We eat, we play, we clean up, we nap, we go potty, we change diapers, we clean up some more, we read books, clean up some more … and so on.

Yet, there are moments, little blips of time where something may happen – as commonplace as it may be – and I am just struck with awe and amazement and bewilderment at these two little people I call my daughters. You know the moments? When you can hardly catch your breath because you realize just how amazing they really are? Just how blessed they make your life?

The other day I had such a moment. I was going about my every day stuff. Washing dishes, I think. I heard the very familiar sound of two little girlies giggling and laughing together. I turned around and saw this. My two little ladies, walking back and forth, back and forth, back and forth between the living room and dining room, Evalyn pushing her baby in a stroller, and Gwennie carrying a miniature stroller, doing her best to keep up with her sister. Every time they got to the end of the room, Eva would say, “Come on, Sissy, let’s go again!” and at one point even left to find an itty bitty teeny weeny baby doll to put in Gwen’s stroller. They went on playing like this, together, for nearly twenty minutes. All while I sat back and watched silently.

(I tried and tried and tried to actually get a good photo but their blurry little selves were running and wobbling too quickly to get a nice photo.)

While I watched them, I was so struck. I even found myself blinking back a few tears. Because in that moment, I realized that the best gift I’ve ever given them is each other. Sisters. A built in best friend.

My girls, I hope you always walk together, just like this. Side by side. Through every thing life brings your way. I hope you always laugh together the way I see you laugh together every day. I hope you always bring joy to each other the way you do each morning when you squeal with delight at the sight of each other. I hope that you’re always able to add cheer to each other’s day and change grumpiness to giggles, the way you, Gwen, do now when Evalyn is grumpy. She can’t help but cheer up after a nap when you walk into her room. I hope that someday, we will see a picture just like this, only you’ll be walking side by side, with your very own real live babies in those strollers (and you’ll have shirts on too, I hope). I pray that you are always the very best of  friends, just the way you were when I captured this moment. That even when you fight and bicker and throw things at each other… even when you hate each other’s guts … that you will still, deep down in your core, be the very best of friends.

I hope you’ll always be just like this.

Becoming Big Sister

My Sweet Evalyn,

The last time I sat down to write a letter to you, we were a mere 10 days away from meeting your Baby Sister, Gwen. As I wrote that letter, tears literally streaming down my cheeks, I was lamenting over the changes that were heading your way. Of course, I spent hours, perhaps days, worrying and wondering about how you would do as you transformed from my only baby to my oldest baby within a matter of minutes. I was worried because you are far too young to understand and prepare yourself for what was ahead. I was worried because you are a Mama’s girl and I wondered how you’d do when you had to share my attention. I was worried because I didn’t know how I’d possibly have the energy to give 100% to two children. I was worried because I thought you would be jealous. I was worried because I thought you might regress in sleep. I was worried because I thought you might not like spending a few days away from me when the baby was born.

But, girl, you have, once again – surprised me and exceeded my expectations completely.

You have made this transition with ease and I am so, so, so proud of you, my sweet girl.

On July 2nd, your Daddy and I weren’t the only ones to fall head over heels in love with Gwennie from the moment we first saw her face. When you arrived home with Papa after your nap, and saw your 7 hour old baby sister for the first time, your life was changed. And immediately, you loved her.

Since that day, the infatuation hasn’t worn off. The first thing you say every morning is “Where’s Baby Gwennie? See her? Kiss her!” You want to hold her, kiss her, pat her and love her all the time. You often tell Mommy to “seed Gwennie” (feed Gwennie) and are concerned if you think I didn’t give her enough milk. You’re protective when people you don’t know well are holding her. You just want to make sure she’s safe, I think. For the first days you were confused and called her Baby Connor or Baby Silas (what her name would have been had she been a brother) but you straightened that out. Then, for a few days, we still had to work on the “him” versus “her” thing, but we’ve straightened that out as well.

My prayer is that you always love your Baby Sister the way you do right now. I can’t wait to watch you grow up together, sharing secrets and lipstick, and hope that you will always be the best of friends. Of course, I'm not naive enough to think that you won’t have bumps along the way.

You are the sweetest Big Sister for our Gwennie. I hope you always know just how proud I am of you.

With love,

Momma