Kids Say the Darndest Things

Between my nieces and nephews, cousins and friends, I get the chance to spend time with some pretty cool kids.

Last night was no exception.

I was hanging out with my friend's 2.5 year old, Baby B. Baby B has a very wide vocabulary and has for quite some time but is now at the point where she is really starting to form some unique and creative sentences.

While she was playing with her toys, I will flipping though a magazine and found a recipe I wanted to copy down. I grabbed a pen and a piece of scrap paper and sat back down. When I tried to write out the recipe, the pen wouldn't work, so I made a little scribble with it in the corner of the magazine page. You know how that goes, when the pen doesn't work, you scribble and then it works, right?

Anyway, Baby B saw me do this and walked over to me with a very stern look on her face.

"Why you do that, honey? No colour on books! You colour on paper!" She said to me.

Then, as I apologized profusely and assured her that my colouring in the book, was in fact, a very poor decision, she continued to scold me, while jabbing her pointer finger onto my scrap paper and saying, "Colour on paper only. Colour on paper only".

Next up, when I was done copying out the recipe I absent mindedly put the pen into my mouth (bad habit, I know). Again, she saw me do this and came over to correct my horrible behaviour.

"Not in your mouth. Not on your teeth, honey. Yucky!"

Apparently, she's learned these lessons a time or two.

I nearly died. I woke up this morning still chuckling over the incident.

And the runner up for the funniest thing she said last night....

She was sitting next to the Fabulous Dude, studying him very curiously. And let me point out, that they have a very precarious relationship. Ever since the incident* things are a bit touch and go with them.

As she studied his face, she slowly brought her tiny hand up to his face and began stroking the hair on his beard.

Puzzled, she asked, "What's that?"

He said, "It's my beard. It's hair."

Well, this explanation sure threw her for a loop. Her puzzlement increased as she reached up to his head, feeling the hair there and realizing that whatever this growth on his face was, it did not feel like hair.

Again, "But, whaisit?"

"It's hair. It feels different than most hair. It's prickly, right? But it's still hair."

We're still not convinced that she believed his crazy story that this untamable growth sprouting from his chin, his cheeks and his upper lip is, in fact, hair, because she kept poking it and touching it and comparing it to her own hair.

*The incident: When Baby B was about 7 months old, I wanted to take her Mama out for dinner so the FD offered to babysit. Unfortunately, Baby B was asleep when her Mom and I left and when she woke up she was frightened to discover that she had been left alone, in my house, with this horrible man. She cried all night for him and did not forgive him for more than a year after that. Eventually, she started to come around and now, is finally at the point where she will almost always agree to be in the same room with him, and usually play with him.

Ahh ... kids. Gotta love 'em!